katie dzwierzynski

now why would instagram attack me like this

(the incorrect your is also an attack)

the super dramatic toni preckwinkle ad that’s like “BRENDAN REILLY PERSONALLY ALLOWED OUR CITY TO BE DEFACED WITH A TRUMP BUILDING” cracks me up every time ngl

i was putting together a grocery order and apparently dozed off, conveniently i was already on my bed

being 37 is really wild and crazy so far

y’all wanna see a happy pup during playtime

a real predickament

it’s possible i said the show is for old people who don’t know how to find dumb videos on the internet, and my parents, who are 70 and who do not seek out videos on the internet, agreed

my parents watch afhv, i think not because they actually like it but because it’s what they’ve had on tv on sunday night for decades

last time i was home i finally cracked and started thoroughly disparaging the show, which my dad agreed with before my mom freely said i could put something else on

he is obviously a ghoul but that exasperated office manager-coded sign off is a great bit

plus the return of jokesplaining with don!

simply change its name to the persout gulf

six years ago, before we knew what the pandemic would become, we were musing about how all the open snack containers in our office were going to be petri dishes, basically, and i was doing what i do best

it would be impressive if it wasn’t also, you know, terrible awful no good and very bad

for approximately the 500th time in the last year...

i honestly don't care about the world baseball classic but this u.s. team has such atrocious loser vibes and i'm not talking about their on-field performance (although that too)

a purple background with the words " the cheek the nerve the audacity the gall and the gumption " written in yellow ALT: a purple background with the words " the cheek the nerve the audacity the gall and the gumption " written in yellow

the absolute injustice of the cta having delays the one day a week i use it

it was raining when i left for my office, sleeting in edgewater, and snow by the time i got here

i don’t care for it tbh!!!

this is rude

it is snowing in evanston, who asked for this

mark d’ohrosa

fun fact mark derosa hit the first grand slam i ever saw in person which is neither here nor there but

i’m sorry this is so funny i’m cackling

yes!

i know the storms are supposed to end soon but i wish they had a couple hours left so i could have them for a falling asleep soundtrack

there’s a 30% chance it’s already raining

i finally made a playlist of the songs i can remember from our family dance parties and frankly it’s one banger after another, shout out to my dad the record player dj

the Chicago baseball teams should serve food out of little Red Line cars

quoth the ravens: not signing anymore