kolt

had to correct my (caucasian) server at the ramen shop when she brought silverware and said “here’s some normal utensils” so i said “not normal. just american” and all the other patrons stood up and clapped

date at the restaurant where we first met 🥰

lady on the phone laughed when i said she had been very helpful. need you to love yourself queen…

get in line pal

mario after backwards long jumping up the stairs to bypass the star count requirement:

stop stop any more professional advice and i’ll have to pay you!!

i never thought it would come to this….

that’s a personal question…..

i’ve never bought one, they always come with the house

just spent my entire annual bonus paying down student loans.. i know it’s the responsible decision but what’s next? start a roth ira? buy a fire extinguisher? schedule a dentist appointment?

such a welcome return to form after years of flops!!

perk of being in the office every day is knowing where all the DLC flavors of coffee pods are stored

“val veeta, tonight the judges thought your performance was a little… lumpy”

love these so much!!!

> that feel when you decide to feed two birds with one scone but someone murders them with a rock

just hangin out this weekend

urgent request for gay people: play paranormasight

you just had to be there in 2012 when the first perks of being a wallflower trailer dropped and the song was It’s Time 🫣

the way everyone always associates decode and twilight when the clearly superior song has always been right there…

just because she’s right doesn’t mean she should say it!

katey and 76 others said fuck my drag i guess

🫡 sir yes sir

one of my bf’s christmas presents was delivered today

happy birthday!!! 🎉

wellll i’m a 3d metroid hater so i wouldn’t recommend the prime games 🫣 but dread is a fantastic modern adaptation of the games you’ve played!! highly recommend!!

it’s incredible how well super metroid holds up!! have you played dread? that’s the only one that tops it for me

i’ve started final fantasy 6 many times but never made it to the world of ruin… nobody told me that’s when the game actually gets good

this is the hope i need after dominant bottom autumn ended

come with me to get my ribs medically fractured so i can suck my own dick