Lord Beestonia

"Police have yet to crack the case"

Didn't know it's his bday! It's Pippas speech -she's with a cold - but has much pro -SL (and DB!) stuff in it.

I've been asked to give a speech at very short notice at the Nottingham UNESCO City of Literature ten year anniversary gala tonight. I have a streaming cold and rheumy eyes, so boss level difficulty and apologies in advance.

The earnest novelisation of that will win the Booker in 2032

In this hyper-velocity age it's important all the Tanky cliches are run through as fast as possible in any new left party. They'll be calling each other 'running dogs' by Thursday.

YouTube video by Legendary Krampus - Official Trailer (HD)

People of Nottingham!

Watch this trailer of Krampus from a decade ago and spot the weird ...

youtu.be/h6cVyoMH4QE?...

Love this British version of the Van Halen M&M story (which I do a lecture on every year)

Happy #Duckerday 🦆 @cornduck3.bsky.social

In 1991 our college canteen was privatised and prices rose considerably, so we bought in Pot Noodles. They then banned us using their cutlery for this, so we put our fake news on college radio that all food was half price.
It all worked too well, and I was told to leave or be found liable...

(Substack, not Ko-Fi)

Emma Monk is a real force of good, debunking the swamp of poor quality propaganda passed off as journalism. Give her a follow (and a Ko-Fi tip!)

I've always wanted my next resurrection to be as a pub dog

Best £3.25+pp ever spent

Teaching Reviews, and remembering the best line a student ever wrote, while considering a Jurassic Park movie.

My students are currently studying Review Journalism, where they develop their ability to critique. For this they choose something to review, usually a cultural product: a film, bit of music, book or so on.

One of my more interesting students has just asked if they can review...Mansfield.

This would at last displace Mull Of Kintyre. Make it happen

If you're an #NFFC fan with kids and you're not using a Sean Dyche gravel voice to encourage them when encouragement is required then you are missing a trick.

First we have to understand what you mean by 'Thursday'.

I think his claim to be related to Jeremiah Brandreth of the Pentrich Uprising was absolutely unfounded, but he touted it for years.

Kids party earlier, so missed the Forest match. Got home at 4.30, put the telly on and thought Final Score had messed up their graphics.

I'm ashamed to say it was and am prepared for the consequences

I regularly get a new book about a Star Wars creature from the library.

Enjoying the Rancor edition right now, it's due back next week

True, though tonight my son asked, and I agreed, for a Scotland kit for him. When the third Scot goal went in I did feel a little pain in my wallet, which at least conforms to some national stereotypes.

That was like a day at Alton Towers compressed into 90 minutes, then another week at Alton Towers compressed into the final five mins.

Happily!

Until the inevitable crashing out in the group stage and me swiftly washing the saltaire off my face

Despite being very Nottingham and very Beeston, I was actually born and spent my first few years growing up in Helensburgh, Scotland, so I'm delighted not to have to support England in the World Cup. Well, not until after the group matches.

BBC News: "the government believe refugees are deliberately bringing their children to avoid deportation"

As opposed to doing what with their children??

Tbh the only time I've ever thought I could be a stand up is in the back of the cab slurring my way through a half-remembered anecdote to a driver politely laughing in the faint hope of getting a decent tip

I can arrange some minted mushy peas and a Cock On a Stick?