Kevin Cross

I’ve written a work email already, so I’m gonna go and check the pond and kindle some firewood.

All other KC-CM staff members are on leave today. I am the only member of staff working. It is like early 2019 all over again. I should empty out the company bank account, and neglect to put any money aside for Corporation Tax again. That worked out perfectly well back then, so far as I remember.

@charlottewebbrwkg.bsky.social I found a T-shirt you need to buy.

Back from annual leave today. I’ve moved some bits of paper around and read some emails. Is that what I normally do? I can’t remember. Can I stop now? It’s nearly 15:00…

Wow. Amazing pic.

And apparently without a helmet as well, dickhead.

#Pulp at #Glastonbury were absolutely fantastic. Total class all the way through.
Common People should be the British national anthem. Hope you’re all well.
I am on the sofa pouring cider into my head.

The rhodedendron flower, out everywhere in Kent and Sussex, looks absolutely gorgeous.

Just wanted to share that, despite today being a Monday, I am genuinely delighted to report that I actually managed to arrive at a meeting on time this morning.

Why does no one listen to voicemails anymore? From now on I am going to answer the phone by saying “Hello, Kevin speaking. Have you listened to my voicemail?” each time.

I know three people that have been mugged, quite brutally, in the last few months. They have had their phones, computers and jewellery taken. I must admit that if I am working, I always carry my laptop and two phones. It makes me query whether it is safe to carry such items. Probably it is not.

Normal Person: “This change Apple have made in the software update is bad”
I.T. Person: “How can it be?! Apple knows what you need better than you do. This iteration is 0.00002 seconds faster per year. You just need to re-learn everything you know about computers to benefit from that time saving”.

Went to a party on Saturday. My 25-year-old niece told a random lady that I had been the guy in the band Aqua who sang “Come on Barbie, let’s go party”. I said “Yeah, I was Norwegian and bald in the 90s”. This lady was thrilled and asked for a selfie with me, which she put on her socials.

Somehow I’m imagining everyone at the HMRC booking luxury holidays today. Still, at least I can get a GP appointment whenever I need one and the roads are beautifully surfaced.

OK, I’ve procrastinated enough and I’m now ready to really get stuck into this week. #SmashingIt

The trouble with LinkedIn is that people want to *link-in* with me! They want to reach out to book in a Teams call to introduce me to their services, start a dialogue and establish how we can work in partnership. I want to not do those things.

Anyway, stay warm and make sure the vulnerable have hot drinks, folks. Boiled lager with a big teaspoon of Ovaltine is revolting.

Anybody: “Can you meet me on Friday?”
English person: “I don’t know. It’s supposed to snow for an hour at 18:00 tomorrow. Society might have collapsed entirely by Friday”

When did people decide it was ok to sit in a parked car at night, facing the direction of oncoming traffic, with their headlights on full beam?

My household has entered the can-I-eat-that-now-or-is-it-for-Christmas? phase of December.

I can’t stop crying. #Strictly

“Couple’s Choice” always just means “take your shoes off” #Strictly #StrictlyFinal

“Please let us know how the delivery of your packages went”. “I neither heard nor saw the driver.When I went outside,I found two packages - placed only partially out of sight - behind a plant pot & another stuffed halfway through my letterbox. I would complain, but the drivers are modern-day slaves”

I was warned this event was coming…

It must be at least Thursday by now, don’t you think?

The London train companies all seem to be having a chaotic day. I suspect they had their Christmas drinks at lunchtime. Either that, or they’re just grossly incompetent. Which is just a possibility I mention…

@dralysonnorman.bsky.social Hey hey

I must say, all the sols I work with are leaving it very late to invite me to the Headway Christmas awards on Thursday. It’s almost as if they’re not going to invite me. Again.

@abisolutions.bsky.social Yesterday was super, btw.