Dream Catalyst

ty🤗

YouTube video by Y2JFan Finger Eleven - Paralyzer (Official Video HD)

and move on.

Hope, maybe
this time
will be different -
Never is.

Beginning to think
the man who could
hold me
is fiction.

This is what love
has been to me.
Enduring control.
But I hope anyway.

#love #control #DC #hope #poetry

5/5

🎶Song "Paralyzer" - Finger Eleven
youtu.be/i9qFoX6mIyM?...

Then pain,
for us both,
hurt,
anger,
usually at me,
more anger,
at themselves,
then...

Boom! 💥

Everything implodes.

I'm left standing
in the wreckage
of control,
gathering
the tiny shards of
what was real.
What small things
survived the fallout.

Then I pick up,
pull myself together

4/

Then panic.

Fear sparks,
flames,
takes hold.
Concern surfaces,
performance
takes over.

Usually due to something
outside of my control.

After that it's
a very short trip
from
'I can't control this.'
to
'She doesn't exist.
It's a trick.'

No trick.
Just denied reality.

3/

need to control,
manage,
direct me.
Riding my current
frightens them.

They say they want
a deep connection,
safe,
wanted,
protected,
seen.

In actuality,
when I show up,
ready with it all,
they are at first
curious,
fascinated,
resonant,
attracted deeply.
Likely more than I know.

2/

🌌 Part 3 - When I See You - Love

'Control'

When I love,
I see all of you,
every single piece,
is held passionately
in my heart
as it is.

I accept it wholesale.
Change nothing.
Control nothing.
Just dive,
explore,
discover
all that you are.

But I have found
that most men

1/

A golden hand with marionette strings being directed by someone under a starry sky

Ah age creeps up on us all....😆

YouTube video by Reservoir Recordings Van McCoy - The Hustle (Official Music Video) [HD]

Just hustle in general:
youtu.be/SFzMs2SN--s?...

Yeah that's what I'm trying to wrap my mind around, it's been over 2 mos, between the scripting, smear campaign and surveillance, that's a lot of work.

I am not that fascinating. I don't get it. 🤷‍♀️

ty. 🙏🤗

WIndows 11. (always wanted to learn Linux, once this settles I think I might).

ty 🙏🤗

Yeah, the voyeurism isn't really doing it for me.

Hope so, that he'll see how terminally boring & technically unskilled I am, lose interest and move on.

I'm trying but it's a challenge with him looking over my shoulder.

(& having to tell pple they're on a party line. Ty for being cool, BTW. 🤗)

Yeah I just try to shield with humour and keep it all in perspective. 😆

Good idea, maybe I should start dating women too?!😉😂

No, no more than me. (But hey you've read my poems, LOL! 😀)

We'd been friends for years (not close but still friends). All in all it seemed like a good fit...until it wasn't.

We had a fight and that's when things turned.
Really bad. Really fast.

& yeah I'm the one that's obssessed 🙄. 😂😆

my antivirus. Then I learned some scripting, (disabled remote, telemetry etc.), hardened my computer. now the notifications work & I can block some packets.

I need to learn more cause I don't think I'm getting it all.

I am going to be a Powershell guru by the end of this, I swear!
2/2

ok I will do that the next wipe, (add it to the arsenal). If you have any reccs Dm them.

Yeah that's how I know I'm special. Most can't. This one does. Hours after wipe (usually after update) it wakes up, starts probing, trying to get special permissions etc. In the first runs he took out

1/

"Again a power role can attract some extremely weird types." - yeah I'm getting that. 👍😆

I think the prob was that we were into each other. Then he couldn't have me. (not going into details).

So this seems to be the option he's taking. 🤷‍♀️

Super fun. 😉

changing the password won't do it, he can get around that.

It's a custom job. He's showing me alot of attention.

Sweet, no?🤣

2/2

oh no I have blown away my hard drive, installed a fresh storebought drive, reflashed the bios, tried to flash the ME but my bios won't let me get to that lvl.

Currently learning how reverse engineer low-lvl scripting that embeds itself in hardware and can survive full wipes.

1/

Actually it is. My stalker is in charge. How did you guess?

🫶

oh no ma' dude. my stalker has low-lvl skills. anti-virus will help (only to a point).

he can take control of the program & notifications, putting them to sleep. (ask me how i figured that out. 😆).

🤗
oh you're not in the group I came from.

You're getting to know me the way people should, through personal experience.

But yes in the former group, it's happening, quite overtly.

(Tho' fortunately nothing here yet. I suspect that is because Bluesky is public record and thus legal.)

delusional etc.)

People are accepting it, avoiding me without even bothering to verify.

No one's questioned the men advancing this narrative sans proof.

They are able to push any falsehood they want.

Maybe I am delusional to believe in people.

To try to, at least, get the whole story?🤷‍♀️

2/2

@kaitlinkallee.bsky.social :The world still wants to silence women, and we should speak even louder and be more defiant if that’s the case. When is a man ever told to be silent?

Further thought:

In my personal exp., I am currently the subject of a whisper campaign ('unstable, obsessed,

1/

If you want to change your settings, follow this primer by the lovely @loveree.bsky.social

bsky.app/profile/love...