Jake Cole

All the stars are here!

What a brutal irony that Ian is out here calling Dubai a haven of elite human capital, buddy then what are you doing there? Instantly revealing it as 1920s Paris but for expat sex offenders

Executing Operation Call Of Duty to exfiltrate Ian Miles Cheong from an Emirati Applebees as the hypersonic missiles hit but he won’t leave until his molten cheese plate burger comes out.

Telling a noncom who had his housing allotment renamed Trump Bux to pretend it’s a new stipend that he is being sent to die for the billionaires of Cheesecake Factory Babylon

Filled up my car yesterday for $2.89 (already 10¢ higher than last week). This morning every station I passed was $3.29. A small price to pay for achieving the mission objective, just as soon as we find out what it is.

The Roman Empire, the Crusades, the American Civil War, WWII. Unfortunately I do recommend reading up on these red flag topics just so you can see for yourself how badly revanchists have to misread these things to make them pillars of their fixations

Seeing the return of Crusades rhetoric now that I am significantly more educated on the actual Crusades really hammers home how abysmally stupid RETVRN types are. The Crusades were a trap-neuter-return program to cull Europe’s feral non-inheriting sons and truly their descendants are now in charge

The thing with AI causing brain rot is that I know for a fact that I do not need AI for that. I can do it all by myself. I don’t need to kill the environment and enrich tech bros just to know I’m getting dumber by the minute. I can do it naturally.

It completely snuck up on me that there’s a new Shabaka album coming out Friday, new reason to keep going dropped

They are literally running with “we have always been at war with Eurasia.” Unreal.

What great is that when you point to these stats the pundits will explicitly say that doesn’t matter because people FEEL crime is worse, never mind that’s because ppl like them feed a nonstop narrative that every city in the western world is 1993 Sarajevo

you are not prepared for the soundtrack

Trump’s handpicked loyalist top brass are all issuing messages like this that have the flavor of the crusader regiment’s priest absolving them of all sin shortly before Saladin sends them to purgatory bsky.app/profile/ship...

I know he’s President “Ah, Well, Nevertheless” but it’s going to be hard for Trump to walk the usual “it’s not a war, it’s a made up term that doesn’t need congressional approval” beat when his Secretary of Defense rechristened himself SecWar, calls all military “warfighters,” and says it’s war

I think maybe the worst tweet of all time

This is how the Millennium Falcon made the Kessler run in 12 parsecs

Me vs the average Bluesky user

The trick here is trying to decide whether they’ve abandoned “police action” for being too soft or for calling too much attention back to their brownshirt hoss brigades here at home

Every day a new photo of Trump drops revealing a condition last seen in Bosch paintings and every day a doctor who sent in cereal box tops for a med degree issued a release that His Majesty has the health of an Olympic champion

You’re just factoring in tariff inflation

Half the countries on this list are on the Board of Peace lmao

An unexpected predictive film text for understanding Trump is The Cobweb (Vincente Minnelli, 1955)

“And we’ve got, around my neck, it’s a green ribbon. And you’ve never seen fabric this fine. It’s so beautiful you want to pull it, but you mustn’t touch it. Should we pull it? There’d be a pretty incredible surprise.”

One of the worst moments of the Burns Jazz doc is when Stanley Crouch mentions that “Jelly Roll” is a sexual euphemism and proceeds to do a proto-Trump “I shouldn’t say it, should I say it? They begged me not to” quasi dance around the topic before finally just bluntly explaining it

Delighted to see how many comments are popping up on this video like “who here in 2026,” we all share the same 90s Kid brain cell

YouTube video by Simpsons Clips Iraqi Fighter Jet - The Simpsons

Just realized the Simpsons predicted the future yet again with today’s Kuwaiti news youtu.be/0ruBLgDuWkU?...

Ah, you’re mistaken, history is only ever about two years old at the absolute maximum

Ordinarily I won’t even hate share this shithead but this is such an extraordinary thing to say as we are getting a raft of live cast footage of Mar-a-Lago face rich whites screaming “this isn’t supposed to happen here!” as missiles hit Dubai

all-timer sports graphic dropped