anyone looking for an enjoyable podcast about ghosts/murder/spies/family history i’m LOVING podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/g... (ping @elliemarney.bsky.social @sophiebeerdraws.bsky.social )
I’m fundraising for top surgery (a lobotomy)
The implied social contract between you and a cat is they get to live in your house and be gross, and you get to bother them a little
😙👌🏻
When the mayor says it's a beautiful day and the beaches are open
PSA
click the icon in top right of following feed, then either turn off all replies or only see replies from people you follow
ohhhh you can hide replies now on here. that makes the main feed so much more bearable.
Hey bro, your lifelong passion sucks. Your greatest work is mid. No offense or whatever
it almost seems like it should be factored into an itinerary
i just busted the stress ball i made at art therapy in the psych ward. time for readmission.
thank you, i do appreciate the concern. the building had been declared uninhabitable so we are in the process of finding someone new. the hole has been there for at least 8 years but i’m sure it will crush me as we are moving out.
don’t worry guys i patched the hole
oh yeah i know his stuff. Our place has just been deemed not fit for habitation so we won’t be here much longer - but it’s a race against the building just collapsing on us 😅
i don’t need to consult Geoscience Australia if there’s been an earth tremor i just check the stairs for ceiling grit from this Architectural Feature in our rental property.
jesus fuck i’m old enough to have given birth to everyone in this Green Cup. no amount of collagen can help this.
i’m allowed to eat nothing but cookies one day a week because then i drink a couple of collagen protein smoothies. it’s called BALANCE.
honestly just put a machine in there; pee in it, stand and wash in it, laundry in it. it’s a one stop appliance on the only thing that would fit in that room
i wish i was capable of the level of optimism of the person who thought a washing machine would fit on that wall between the vanity and toilet.
an old white guy saw our YES voice referendum poster and angrily said “a book store is no place for politics” to which the dury manager said super chill “Yeah, it is. And you can leave” And old dude was so surprised he left.
bizarre to see basically my exact primary school uniform for sale
i found this at work and you were in here and all my colleagues and I laughed at your follies and japes.
using a time machine to travel back to 1999 and tell the first person i meet that one day Learn to Fly by the Foo Fighters will be followed on the golden oldies station by Eric Carman’s Hungry Eyes… just to see the look on their face
this bebe cow is only ever happy when there’s someone to sit on the couch with him. it is his one desire in this life.
hello it’s Spwing and i made a primaverde risotto and it was real nice. so that’s how i’m going
I should write a script that blocks everyone with “Christian, Husband, Father” in their bio.
Pickford. So sweepy.
[getting interrogated] excuse me i don't like your tone
