tsu ⚠️🔞 - comms open!

easy "you can continue with your daily life/work while doing this" type of treatment i was told it would be. ill stick with it because i want it to work but holy. shit.

very frustrated that my body and mind are just sort of giving up on me at the moment. i'm a little mad that the side effects of tms were kind of undersold to me too. it's not pain or anything but brainfog is really intense and i just feel horribly anxious. this is not the -

If you aren't in MN, check this help to aid us! If you are and can't protest on the streets, make sure to call your reps. One of the senators I called has a full voicemail box, so clearly we're overwhelming them. Keep that up and make your voice heard!

with my mental health treatment and the job search and just. everything. i really have just totally shut down. my health is kind of bad and i'm barely eating and aughh. so i'm glad i finally have employment lined up again its been a LONG 7 months searching ugh

i finally got a job ;w; itll be a bit before my start date but im so relived especially with my ui running out at the beginning of this month i wasn't really sure like...what i was going to do. thats a lot of stress off my shoulders for now so i will be focusing back on art (esp some owed stuff!!)

it's a little bit frustrating to be rendered kind of useless while undergoing this sort of stuff bc it's not like it's anything new to me. i've been in therapy and seeing psychs and in and out of inpatient/outpatient programs since before i was even a teenager. you'd think i'd get used to it....

the reason i am going this time is for the best (depression treatment). i want to make more art at a pace i'm used to but my brain is just. scrambled and the increase in PTSD symptoms is causing a ton of disassociation so uh... i just need to be patient with myself right now

i feel guilty for the lack of art recently. truthfully my mental health treatment has been really tough it's a long story but a long history of medical trauma from negligent and/or abusive providers makes going to the hospital 5 days a week kind of. extremely mentally exhausting even if i think -

An eastern dragon that is also a delicious dragon roll

Sushi dragon print for dragon appreciation day!

Little Update.

So I just lost my job this week. This happens during a time where I was already needing to find a new place to crash at.
Right now I am working hard to get through my art queue. Sadly this is the only income I have at the moment ... 1/2

Chronic pain hasn't been too bad for me recently thankfully so I'm struggling with a night where I def should be taking my Strong Meds but want to foolishly push through it anyways 😹 good thing tomorrow is the first day I'm a while where I don't have much to do / can sleep in

do it! i don't use any mobility aids but i have other disabilities that make long lines (or prolonged periods of standing) difficult and will always request accessibility services at cons ^^ you don't need something that outwardly and immediately "proves" you need or benefit from those services.

A drawing of two cat characters in a feral anime style. The one on the left is a long-haired pink cat, lying stretched out on the grass. The one on the right is a gray and beige cat with blue eyes, lying curled up, seemingly somewhat bothered by the pink cat, yet somewhat pleased with its presence. They are lying on grass and flowers, against a transparent background.

nooo yyou cant draw anime animals

well i've been to f2 a couple times as well but its out of my budget this year ;w;

everyone have fun at ANE ! one day ill make it to a con that isn't MFF lolol

even after recovering from restrictive eating habits, i still held on to a lot of internalized fatphobia. i feel so much freer and i think genuinely am more kind now that i can actually accept that being fat is just that. who gaf i love being a fat bitch yknow. its nice to see similar sentiments <3

🫂i've been in a similar situation. fat to skinny (ED) to fat. it's just such a hard thing to truly convey to people that you are treated SO insanely differently. skinniness was automatically conflated with health so while i was at my most unhealthy, i got praise for "finally taking care of myself" -

i super try not to get too bogged down with identity labeling for myself like i know its so super helpful for a lot of ppl but it leads to unhelpful overthinking for myself. he/she is for the critters and queers and every other context well its your call. what do YOU think i look like, huh? lol

new doctor asking for my pronouns which i answer "oh it doesn't matter" and she gets real serious like "no..it does matter 🥹🫶"

like. uhh. i appreciate the sentiment but it actually doesn't matter to me that much LMAO i specify he/she in certain spaces but in my Functioning Human Life. dont care.

also a kind of weird med that was helpful in terms of anhedonia from depression was pramipexole but it also caused my dermatillomania to flare up like crazy OTL but that was a sort of off-label med that I was surprised by if u have trouble getting these other treatments secured! Good luck!!!

the tms is new so i can't really say but i've been doing spravato (ketamine) kind of on and off (due to insurance bs) for over a year and that's actually helped immensely with suicidal ideation in particular! i still def have depression but easing the SI is a major improvement for myself, for sure.

getting to the sort of weird depression and anxiety treatments is... weird. like sorry none of the pills worked we are going to beat you with hammers now. like. ok yay <3 at least the assistant is a nerd and we talked about gdq during the treatment today lol

started tms recently. extremely non-serious vent art bc i don't think i'll get used to how bad and weird the treatment actually feels. mice in my brain, kind of lol

sorry for being kinda inactive recently ;w; been busy with lots of irl stuff (suddenly job interviews?!) and I'm at the clinic every day where they beat my head with hammers and also drug me (tms and spravato) which is exhausting. art will come soon ...

a drawing of shiny alpha Scolipede looking downward fondly at a Meganium that looks absolutely delighted and excited to see her.

my z-a meganium and his giant bug wife

Everyone has to work with what they have so I get it but less or no beef / dairy is a fairly easy little way to rebel against what's going on. even if it's just for the self satisfaction which is not something I'll ignore either lol

🟡

(f you have the means to do so!) it's probably a good time to stop eating beef... This statement is prompted by nothing in particular.... definitely....

ミロカロス
#Pokemon #Pokemonfanart