@asstownbakery.bsky.social
Asstown resident and owner of the Asstown Bakery. One of these days I will jump through my own asshole. Anxious and sexy. I like fruity people and outdoor showers Skeets: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaonwhdmx2o2
The last time I baked a man cookies, he stole my good Tupperware.
My parents don’t have a door on their master bathroom which is the kinkiest thing I’ve ever seen
Picard sure loves to wear a slutty little robe
If I were a rich lord oh the fucking goblets of wine I would drink,while I did lordly shit and thought grand thoughts of balls and ladies and shit like that
No one, ever:
Me, high af and watching Bridgerton: twill be a cold day in hell when I make my return to the marriage mart and out of the sweet sexy embrace of spinsterhood
After the week I had, I'm getting so fucking stoned tonight.
Three thin mints, so yes bring it on
Yes, would you like to buy any from my daughter’s troop? 🍪🥴
….is it an actual thin mint? Then yes.
Honestly if your penis is bigger than a sleeve of Thin Mints i don’t want it unless your penis is literally thin mints then yes, I do want it
why? why shouldn’t i be allowed to have a sleeve of thin mints in my dresser drawer?
good news everybody
democrats sending those donation spam texts/calls tonight
The amount of drugs they are pumping into him tonight to make it through this speech would kill anyone other than Keith Richards
[after getting 8 likes on a post about Dracula having sex with Bigfoot] I love Bluesky, but this isn't sustainable
‘I notice none of you fuckers are listening now’
imagine getting in any body of water while wearing jeans, let alone a hot tub, then imagine doing that with kid rock
stop barfing
Absolutely fucking no one:
Me: I do hope the Lady Francesca Bridgerton achieves a pinnacle during intercourse during this season, as thus far it has eluded her
do all humanoids have soft butts
Omg I’m so high I forgot my name
Oh yes
Getting closer
lol i don’t know what baking ass means
I’m doing some watercolor tonight
Holy shit you guys this is what my face looked like 16 years ago in watercolor. I have this painting in my bathroom.
You guys when I got my new phone they kept trying to sell me on a privacy screen but fuck that, I’m proud of my shit posting
do you wanna come over and cut paper into various shapes and glue them onto things
I accidentally caught five seconds of that Kid Rock halftime show and when he screeched BAWITDABA into the camera I felt my bacterial vaginosis flare up fml
Writing my representatives to urge them to address the problem of too many boys going to Jupiter to get more stupider
getting a bigger penis tattooed onto my penis