What's your favorite kind of sea creature?
1. toothy hunters
2. silvery whoppers
3. wiggly aliens
4. ancient horrors of the deep
Should we wander into a malevolent fog?
Should we sharpen our antlers with enchanted daggers?
Should we perform dark ceremonies to release the old gods of the forest from their hidden tombs?
The answer is always yes.
Your daily horoscope:
Today you will feel hazy and indistinct, like a ghost lost in the fog.
If you think about it, most of us are just one small decision away from having to swordfight a group of animated skeletons brought to life by a deranged dark wizard.
Whether you're the moss covered forest horror, or the townsfolk running from the moss covered forest horror, I know you're doing your best, and that's all any of us can do right now.
Carry on.
Your daily affirmation:
People underestimate me, but no one will stop me because I possess the strength of at least two raccoons.
I like the way you think.
I like the way you move through the world with an aura of darkness and cheap wine, leaving a trail of unread books and confusion in your wake.
What's your favorite kind of sea creature?
1. toothy hunters
2. silvery whoppers
3. wiggly aliens
4. ancient horrors of the deep
Remember.
If you don't know which person in your friend group is possessed by an ancient and nameless cosmic horror brimming with unspeakable hungers and malice, it's probably you.
What's on your mind?
1. exotic cheeses
2. mossy kingdoms
3. cat wizards
4. whiskey & regrets
You are stronger than you think.
Maybe not as strong as one of the cursed machines from the haunted robot scrapyard, but you're pretty strong nonetheless.
Carry on.
Most doctors agree on a simple plan for life:
- drink plenty of water
- get plenty of sleep
- exercise once every 1,000 years
- spend at least 2 nights per month shambling through the wildlands and searching the ruins of dead kingdoms for the bones of ancient kings to snack on
All we can do is try our best with what little time we have.
Volunteer with a worthy cause.
Donate to your favorite charities.
Craft mildly cursed jewelry out of ancient bones.
Have secret meetings with the old gods in the dark end of the forest.
Your daily fortune:
Today you will fight self doubt and win. Later, you may curse the sky and daydream about potatoes.
What's on your mind?
1. exotic cheeses
2. mossy kingdoms
3. cat wizards
4. whiskey & regrets
Never give up.
If you ever wish to gain some mild esteem for writing erotic novels about moon ghosts, or for collecting weird bones from the forest, I know you can do it.
I believe in you.
What do you do for fun?
1. reading & dreaming
2. drinking & brooding
3. wandering & haunting
4. everything & nothing
Your daily affirmation:
Repeat after me: I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and my mind goblins will not defeat me today.
Nature vs nurture is a myth.
Nurture the nature within.
Encourage children to grow antlers and a coat of moss.
Teach them of the old gods of thorns & fog.
Set them free in the old forest to become the monster they were meant to be.
Nobody's perfect.
Unless your body is slowly being taken over by the forest, and your skin is now bark & moss, and your antlers & talons are sharp and ready, because that's nearly perfection.
Your daily affirmation:
I'm strong enough, I'm smart enough, and it's ok if I wear a tiara of goblin bones to my nephew’s birthday party.
Oh yes, the word is out.
What do you do for fun?
1. reading & dreaming
2. drinking & brooding
3. wandering & haunting
4. everything & nothing
What's your favorite color?
1. car fire
2. gently used knife
3. ancient shipwreck
4. mossy gargoyle
Check out our new botanical gardens! It’s been 2 days since the plants have devoured anyone, so it’s probably safe now.
Don't give up on your dreams.
Somewhere out there is an old theater that needs a new ghost, or a crumbling castle that needs a new creature in the catacombs, chasing townsfolk away from the secrets buried within.
Most economists agree that by the time you're 50, you should be living in a book-filled cottage at the edge of the forest and solving minor mysteries in your village with the aid of a curious ghost cat.
What's holding you back in life?
Is it your inability to speak with owls, or shapeshift into a bear, or quickly craft primitive daggers out of discarded antlers & bones?
These things can be learned, if you follow the dark paths in the forest.
