Gnome Pickles

Either you are being purposely obtuse or you are so dim it is honestly impressive you are not trying to eat your keyboard right now.

God: There. I took a whole week to make you a planet. I'll send my Son back to judge your choices during the End Times.

Man: You're cool with me skipping to the end now, right?

God: Wh.. what? No, of course I'm not cool with...

Man: *dropping bombs on a school* I am very religious.

She is staring into my soul and I know, I just know that I would be forced to spoil that little ball of fluff. I would have no choice!

Maybe the birth rate is declining because it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars we aren't making to have a kid. I want to be a dad so badly but some days I struggle to feed myself. Stop giving every dollar to billionaires and we will talk.

People have been predicting that women will be sad and alone for years. It is not lonely to choose yourself as women do this little thing called make friends

No it is not just you. I feel it too.

Congratulations sir, you burned down your life. It is your fault and your duty to apologize to her does not infer a duty for her to accept it. She has escaped you as you were killing her.

Every major disaster in this country over my lifetime has been self inflicted by right wing ideologues with just enough complicit or inert Democrats to enable or ratify them. That's why we've been on this doom trajectory for the last ~50 years and it'll keep getting worse if that doesn't change

A healthy choice.

And they always have an excuse as to how they couldn't control themselves. Which is super interesting when they then start talking about how men are supposedly natural leaders. Usually in the same conversation where they made excuses for male violence being someone else's fault.

This is naked cruelty. Just naked cruelty. Also, am I the only one finding it really interesting how Republicans are trying to push for voter id while trying to invalidate the ids of queer people?

They went after 300 people in the entire fucking state? 300? That’s their hate and fear in a nutshell. That they might have to interact with a trans person once in their lifetime in Kansas because that’s about how often the average legislator would with 300 trans people they just targeted.

Taking a second look and seeing op's name and pfp. I am mildly sexist as I expect stupidity to come from men. Benevolent sexism of seeing women as smarter and less capable of being chuds is still sexism and I need to work on that.

How exactly does that work in this dude's poisoned and tiny mind? Is my blood too radical for a woman, and her's too demure for my manly veins?

Please I need to know, as whatever explanation he gives is gonna be so funny I might wee myself in pure delighted scorn.

Dibs on not explains to an adult man that trees and people are different.

Damnit all, men ruining another hobby I love by being assholes and refusing to do a lick of paperwork. Hiking and being in nature is one of the most lovely things in the world and these men steal that from women and make it unsafe, and I will never forgive them for how they treat women.

Any person who thinks that women are the gender who cannot control their emotions should watch a female streamer play Call of Duty. I follow a couple and dear Lord the things that come out of those men's mouths.

Labor is mother, Labor is father, Labor is brother and sister!

I want to make a pithy joke about his promise to keep us out of wars but I am so tired and it seems ghoulish when there are civilians being bombed to distract from Trump's flagging poll numbers. People are giving up their lives because a narcissist is upset people don't like him.

They are preventing a world where they don't get the chance to shoot people. There is nothing sadder then an Israeli military that gets so excited for a war but nothing happens.

Fair point is fair. I put too much of myself there cause I cannot imagine marrying someone you don't love.

I hate that something so basic is something so wild to her. This is basic how to treat someone you love and to reassure them.

Though considering what I normally read here, you had me worried in the first half.

What a way to get a head in life. He always said he wanted to be the head in the family and she obliged. He always wanted to be served, and again she obliged.

I'll see myself out.

How would that work, balance wise? Like I know he doesn't mean literally but it's all I can think of. Just a woman's head being an entire man like the worst kind of human-tar I can imagine. All that poor creature would do would be to scream and beg for death.

Israel is like a shitty roommate. "Oh sorry, did I break your stuff and make your family feel unwelcome? No worries, I will replace it with my stuff that you cannot use, and my family who you can't talk to or criticize."

Please explain how the, "joke," is funny. Why is the punchline, "I don't respect you or your achievements," and why is that funny? Also why is that joke never aimed at people who are white, male, and het?

Cheaters cheat, that is what they do. He told you who he is, believe him.

Oh I have never swapped sides so fast in my life. That horse wasn't in the middle of the stream, I was mounted on the bank and just like, "ya, I am now on her side actually brother, thanks for the offer. By the by, keeping the introductory water bottle."

Oh you are indeed correct!