🪱

5.5 mins and he said a whole lotta nothing

I don't trust my ass in general so

The universe said get that ass running!

Omg?

Passionately always want to be right and a little too fluid in your relationships

Do people just not go to weddings anymore?

From choking on it!

First time I've ever cried while giving head. Maybe 2025 will be my vers year.

I want a baby so bad

a person 's foot is sticking out of a hole in a comic book ALT: a person 's foot is sticking out of a hole in a comic book

I'm always in sport mode when I'm stroking

A month later lol.

Okay cute. Short story time incoming

This shit wiped me out on Friday btw

Trying to make a move to New York happen is so funny

I can and I will because what are y'all doing. Be serious.

Can I hit a decade of being single

This is crazy

Nothing worse than sleeping wrong and your shoulder and neck being essentially non functional

Damn. 🫤

Hey you, buy the precut fruit and veggies, no, I know it’s not cheaper, I can read, but you’re not going to go home and cut them and put them away like you said. You’re actually going to NOT eat them if they’re not pre-cut so you’re actually wasting money. You are welcome, I love you too.

Why this look like they’re waiting for Flav to give out the last clock?

(This is SO cute)

Mhmm riiiight

Y'all are literally Buddy's dad.

If you see this, post your Renaissance outfit 🪩

I think I still have a substantial amount of lead in my bloodstream from this outfit

Omw

I have been using the fuck out of my street accessible apartment. I am NOT traveling!!!!

And if I say they have an ugly house I'm the bad guy?!

They're so fucking annoyingggg. Like I know y'all are illiterate but don't make it MY problem

Also SO happy it was one of my more tame opinions because people lose the plot so fast