Eat my words

My husband keeps telling me that I do nothing when we have an argument. Last week it was “you do nothing, cost heaps of money and all you do is whinge”. Last night again he said I do nothing. I am beyond over this. I love him, but I also have no options if I want to leave him.

My husband and I were staying apart for most of that time as I couldn’t handle the fact that we were arguing so much.

I only came here to stay again a few weeks ago after staying elsewhere since July.

I will not be stable enough to go back to work until I get a home. This is a fact for me as my neurodivergent brain does not function well while homelessness and chronically ill.

I left home almost 30 years ago. I have to admit that I feel a bit offended that my feelings instability, due to being homeless, are disregarded.

My husband and I have argued more in the last year than ever before. My in-laws seem to think that this is our normal. But it’s just the result of extreme pressure on our relationship, largely due to homelessness.

I long to feel like myself again. I long for a home. I long for a day when just saying what’s happening in my life is not going to offend someone else.

I have had to live through the worst time of my life under other people’s roofs. While I appreciate the help I am still homeless. I never wanted to live through all of this in someone else’s house. I crave my privacy. I crave personal space to do my yoga. I crave a quiet space for my sensory issues.

My father in law seems offended that I say that I am homeless, as I am staying in their home. But I left my home under duress in January and I have been homeless ever since. My belongings are all packed up and kept elsewhere. My life is on hold.

Significant pain reduction upon waking this morning and have been able to do things today rather than lay or sit in agony.

Went to the doc yesterday with a rash on my hip steroid injection site. Doc said shingles. I was super doubtful because all I had was pain the same as before but also severe back pain. Prescribed antivirals and shocked to say that it must be shingles.

I’ve kept doing everything because that was the advice for my incorrect diagnosis. This has caused my body a lot of damage.

I’m not sure how we were raised has anything to do with it. But many of us women have spent our lives doing things for other people.
What’s insensitive is saying you would top yourself in my shoes when I have stated in my post that I am scared that I am going to die. I’m 47, I deserve a life.

No offence to you but that’s kinda insensitive.

If you are on instagram and interested I do videos now www.instagram.com/purplepeople...

I do not have a choice… sometimes I can’t even wash myself. Being disabled and high needs is not a choice.

I am already dependent because of my disability

I don’t have fibromyalgia. It was a misdiagnosis. Unfortunately it has caused me a lot of damage.

I forgot to mention that the changes to my neck were compared to a CT taken in February . I had my #thyroidectomy in May. I’ve had moderate to severe back and neck pain since.

But I am still pretty alone. My husband is great, but he can’t handle me talking about my health at the moment. I have no one who wants to let me talk about how scared I am of dying. And the other fear is completely losing my ability to walk. #disabled

I also got diagnosed with vaginal thrush for the first time in my life. I’ve never had it before, but I get it straight after a steroid injection. I feel like something is really going seriously wrong with my body. I see my doctor on Tuesday and I am meeting with a specialised Physio tomorrow.

I have realised that I have a high pain threshold and I would put that down to my ASD. However I was only diagnosed a month ago so I had no idea.

I assumed it was normal and just put up with it. My daughter was born with club feet and they never asked me about my ribs to my knowledge.

I have pain there but assumed it a breast cyst as I have cystic breasts. I went to a doctor about it 10 years ago. I have realised that it would have happened during pregnancy (26 yrs ago). I was told at the time that my rib pain was caused by my daughter’s feet being stuck under my ribs.

I went there for 3 separate things. The primary thing had just happened when I felt I pop in one of my back ribs from the shower water. I should mention that I found out 10 days ago that I had a rib which has previously dislodged and reset into my breast.

When I swallow water it often feels like my throat is lax and folding over inside me. My second hospital visit was not as productive and they treated me like a stress head who had over worried.

There is a slight prominent lordosis at C5/C6,secondary to the above degenerative changes.

There are many other things that are rapidly progressed since the injection. Due to all of this extra laxity and pain I’ve been the hospital twice over the last week. They took a CT of my neck and there has been notable degenerative changes on C5/C6. There is a bilateral mild stenosis C5/C6 (new).

EDS #EhlersDanlosSyndrome
My right hip keeps slipping behind. My neck has been feeling unstable. I’ve had pain in my pelvic bones. I can now see the ligaments connecting along the top of my collarbone. I’ve felt like my back ribs are popping in and out. I have had a suspected uterine prolapse.

Things have deteriorated rapidly for me. They think that I have EDS. I’ve had a rapid decline since my thyroidectomy in May and I had a steroid injection in my left hip 9 days ago and I have had much more rapid instability. My pelvis is crunching when I walk up steps.