It must suck like hell to be fat and do something wrong
I feel like alot of addicts would get clean if they knew what they were funding in Mexico.
I was subjected to ceaseless torments in boyhood. “Whoever smelt it,” my bullies sneered, “...𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵 𝘪𝘵.” And we wonder whence our culture of silence.
Sorry for not ever responding on here. I just come over to copy+paste my Tweets, because I don't care about BlueSky and I find everyone on it insufferable and unworthy of my attention
You’re right to question that—not having a mouth 𝘪𝘴 a real barrier to screaming. That said, I’d gently push back on the idea that screaming is your only option. Would you like me to help brainstorm some workarounds?
Hilariously pathetic when a celebrity clearly pays someone, to update their age on Wikipedia at the stroke of midnight. NO ONE CARES !
And, yes, I took this screenshot at 12pm Grinach Mean Time.
I am receyvuinge Word that Andrewe Duc of Yorcke hath ben bi laweful Jugement for his foule Trespas prest with grete Stones til his Ribbes weren toburst and his Lyf wente oute of hym.
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found a legal way to keep my transphobic tenant’s security deposit
I like when an insecure bisexual girl makes her boyfriend be nonbinary
oh my god. not someone at the White House trolling Trump by putting “pdf” on all his files 😭 like. literally, “pdf file” 💀
Red flag: if you’ve never read someone’s diary. Wrong? Obviously. But less wrong than never letting your curiosity about others outrun your morality.
.@seahawksofficial.com Please show this to the players
Spent $20 on a sheet of diffraction film for my window
The Super Bowl would be a lot cooler if the ballboy went to pump up the ball... but, he accidentally plugs the pump into his bellybutton— so HE gets inflated instead 😂 And the cheerleaders are all giggling, “Ooo, he’s about to pop!”
His pants split open. The ballboy whimpers.
Imagine if the Seahawks QB ends up on a gurney. “Is he injured?!” But no!—The cheerleaders strapped him in, they’re tickling his feet with feathers 🤣 P-PLEASE, he bellows, body thrashing against the restraints like a dumb slab of fishmeat.
The cheerleaders only smirk.
why is "can't detect sarcasm" supposed to be an autistic thing ?? what could possibly be more autistic than consulting your mental model of someone to assign a probability that their utterance is sincere.
“How do you circle that square” makes no sense as an idiom for “do something hard”. A square is one of the easiest shapes to circle, actually !
Posting at night, women take flight;
Posting in morning, employers take warning.
I hate rage baiters so much. The entire reason you bait is to manipulate people into remembering who you are, bc if they don’t, they can’t be in on “the joke”. What childhood hangups got you addicted to hijacking other people’s pointless attention?
One bizarre subtext in Harry Potter is how the Dursley’s are implied to be Dominican
(JK Rowling thinking of a name to put on a driver’s license) John Doe
Russiagate taught us about dezinformatsiya (lit. “misinformation”) and kompromat (harder to translate). Epstein’s ties to Russia make more sense in the context of pedofiliya (педофилия), lit. “love-of-children”. (In Russian, the “love-of” is a wry innuendo for sexual attraction)
It would make more sense if it referred to, idk. Like, a virgin
Why do they call it the “Madonna-Whore Complex”? I won’t call Madonna (or any woman !) a “wh*re”… but how is she of all people supposed to be opposite than one 😭
How is this bread’s name spelt?
Wild that these things have largely disappeared, and yet “segway into [a topic]” has become a permanent figure of speech meaning “transition into a topic”.
Did you know synæsthesia goes both ways? This color instantly enters my mind as the word “blue”. No, it’s not just that I “know the word for the color blue”. It’s something more profound. This color isn’t just blue; it’s *synonymous with the word* “blue”.
TIL a snail’s brain takes up 90% of its shell, making it more intelligent than most mammals
