The Bourbon Drunk Oracle

I once had my power shut off for non payment.

Not because I couldn't afford it, but because the place I lived at the time made you pay by paper check for the first 90 days, and I literally just put the check in the envelope, put it in the visor of my car, and never dropped it off.

I mean let's be clear about something.

Nobody said "Michael Jackson Who?" When he was at his peak.

Okay that's a lie the first time I saw him on TV he was on trial at the same time as Martha Stuart and I thought she'd just dyed her hair for court. But the point stands.

Y'all ever stay at a hotel that had nicer brand free products than what you brought? Then you have to check your receipt to make sure you read the price right and there wasn't an extra zero you missed.

I mean I knew it wasn't Motel 6 but what are you doing giving me Paul Mitchel for free?

I think the most depressing part of this whole 10 year fiasco has been realizing how stupid people are.

I mean...I knew they were racist classist self centered entitled pieces of shit.

But I thought they were at least smart enough to know when they were the ones getting screwed.

A screenshot of Whitehouse.Gov showing an article about Trans Visibility Day and featuring an image of a topless woman.

I'm still just delighting over the fact I can look at Trans Girl Titties on the white house website 😁

Used to have to go to a special subreddit for that shit, now it's on a .gov

Doctors are incredibly intelligent and analytical minds who have difficulty seeing things clearly because they keep their heads up their own asses.

Nurses exist to be their seeing eye dogs and keep them from knocking over the furniture while they strut around like they're god..

The greatest mistake Robert Barathion ever made was marrying Cersi and not just bumping off Aemon Frey and marrying Genna Lannister.

The man's type was Thicc and Curvy and he married the cookie cutter instead of the bowl of oatmeal.

That MILF would've had him saying "Leanna Who?" Night 1

The appeal of Isekai Anime to me is just tangible goals.

If I had a bar over my head that said "This many pushups till you don't get winded on hikes" or "This many pages of studying before you understand Mead making" my fuckin hobbies would be so much easier and more engaging.

The feral urge to Annie Wilks all the people I see dancing and celebrating starving children right now.

"well if they just worked harder" alright Chet, just hold still for a minute and I'll show you how hard it is to work harder when you're not able bodied.

JD is making moves to ditch his Indian wife for Charlie Kirk's white widow.

This is a sign of one of two things.

Either Trump Is in poor health and JD is taking steps to appeal to the base once he's gone.

Or Loving .V. Virginia is on the chopping block.

The really funny thing is I've helped with scientific research by helping gather fungus and mold samples from deep in caves 😂 If anything I did was gonna lead to the apocalypse it would probably be that.

This is a jelly fungus I found the other day. 10/10 would poke again.

You know what would've stopped him?

Consequences.

Any consequences, every. But Democrats were so desperate to keep the peace they let him get away with a coup and stacking the court without even saying boo.

So now he's a toddler who knows he'll never be spanked or lose Privelages.

Why are we still acting like this is an If?

You don't add a ballroom to a house you're leaving in a couple years.

You're all idiots if you think we're ever getting another free and fair election in this country at this point 😂

The storms will keep getting stronger.

The summers will keep getting hotter.

The water will keep getting saltier.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

I hate the intellectually dishonest argument of "They came here Illegally" too

Because they don't want those who came here legally either.

Why are they so scared to admit they just hate brown people?

I hate that I enjoy Taylor Sheridan movies so much.

Because I get it. I get it.

It's all typical white male power fantasy garbage. I fundamentally understand that.

But Hell or High Water and Wind River are so fucking good though! Makes me want a 45/70 lever action and generational poverty.

Do I really have to sit around 3 more years watching him wipe his ass with the constitution before the general public wakes up to the fact he's never gonna willingly give up power?

And what then? Violent civil war as half the nation supports him becoming a dictator?

Who do you think has more brain matter left,

RFK jr. After the worm got done with him?

Or JFK after the parade?

All I'm saying is, one of them said circumcisions make you really good at Yu Gi Oh and the other banged Marilyn Monroe.

Dam. That is an impressive pull 😂 I did it in 6 but just barely.

They're not insane.

They're stupid or evil.

Either they're so stupid that they fell for the lies and genuinely believe this is what's best.

Or they're so evil they never needed the lies, they just wanted the suffering.

When this is over we're gonna find out they were threatening people into compliance behind closed doors.

We're going to find out that certain individuals were told their family would be targeted for prosecution or worse to ensure compliance.

And that others didn't comply and suffered.

Aw man and I just trimmed.

Will I be able to see it even if I don't have a full beaver?

My thing is they don't have to try that hard.

They got us so easily with fuckin Lurch. Fetterman switched sides immediately upon getting elected.

Planter feels like a redneck shit heel who developed empathy. Speaking as one myself.

Instructions unclear, I rolled a joint with the Epstein list.

I figured out how to get everyone to come together around Bad Bunny's halftime show.

How do we combine something Republicans love, with a truly Latino American experience?

That's right.

Bad Bunny executes Yolanda Saldivar

He's not cozying up to Argentina to flee.

He's cozying up to them to use them as a staging ground to invade Venezuela for oil.

The Oracle cat has spoken

The wild thing about people getting older and more conservative is they legitimately forget who they were before it.

My father warned me when I was 9 years old that someday the jackboots would come for us and try to do Holocaust 2.0

And now I'm trying to convince him that's what's happening