I would prefer not to

I’ll manage your campaign!

I nominate myself as a founding member.

Me on my 100th HistoryTok spiral.

He was in the back with the kids! Wild! I’m from Long Island so we’re chilling out here in the suburban wilderness.

WAIT WHAT

It's like the Pohlads decided to have a going out of business sale. Fuck them. #baseball #twins

Wait. When did the airport become shoes on?

Maddie is amazing for compiling this.

Moneyball but it's about the July 2025 Minnesota Twins.

Hear me out. We pool our money, stack a few of us under a trench coat and buy the team as “Minnie Moneybags” or something. As soon as the owners approve and check clears, we whip off the coat to reveal that the residents of MN just bought and socialized the Twins.

a woman is holding a man 's hand and says `` it 's a cookbook '' . ALT: a woman is holding a man 's hand and says `` it 's a cookbook '' .

[Twilight Zone cookbook voice]
“The Target Field target is MEANT LITERALLY”

First 25 fans who show up to the Twins game get free uniforms and gloves.

Players traded away by the Twins Carlos Correa Jhoan Duran Harrison Bader Brock Stewart Christ Paddack Danni Coulombe Willi Castro Griffin Jax Louis Varland Ty France Randy Dobnak

Closed most popular nightclub in University of Minnesota college

My children decided to try and make a swimming pool out of a garbage bag and left water everywhere. I slipped and fell on it and now I have a teeny tiny fracture in my teeny tiny ankle.

So my Sunday is fucked.

Will I ever not be mad again? I think I’m just like this now.

I knew when they said drone in the first press conference this is what happened but now I KNOW and it doesn’t feel good being right.

The GALL that the police chief sites de-escalation training about officer involved shootings for why they waited. Ghouls.

I was chastised on FB for “Monday morning QBing,” but if you tell me we need to endlessly increase police funding so they can save us from murderers, you need to prove they give a fuck enough to even try.

Melissa Hortman bled to death over 63 minutes as police stood outside and waited for a drone.

Opinion | We Will Regret Not Standing Up to This Venomous Cruelty

Gifted:

For those who don’t have that lying statement handy. It is appalling that the author of this holds elected office.

Again, see if you can square this so-called “summary” with the violence we know the police actually inflicted on George Floyd.

Police lie. All the time.

OH SNAP!

Oh and she made cards for her friends that said H O T T O G O. So, I’m winning at parenting.

I can see why this is so popular. Real lack of pop group bands these days.

This has the right vibe! I wonder if she’ll transition to the Korean language songs or be like nah

Ha! I mean I love it and I’m 41, so…

I mean she does sometimes crawl across the floor singing “Look what you made me do,” so…

I’m probably more permissive than a lot of parents, too. Some people think Taylor Swift is too risqué

Oh, we’re doing this

Amazing. Apt. is her favorite song, so I should have seen this coming.

Yup! Mabel has watched it like 5 times already. The beginning is a little scary. But my kids have never struggled with that stuff. The songs are GOOD.