Coffee Porter Jr.

Super surreal, all the cops asked prepared questions about working with dhs and/or big buckets of flattery. Noem at one point mentioned attending an event with Trump on Saturday - guess we'll see if that's still on the books!

did one of these cops just hit on her

throwing this press conference on in case someone tells her

Athletic Director move

DHS secretary from Oklahoma named Markwayne. Who writes this shit, Joe Dante?

Designated Post June 1st move won’t clear much cap space

*pointing*

surely you could use a better example of “word you cannot say”, like macbeth or candlejack or

it’s remarkable sometimes, how back we are

thinking about whenever a team trades a first for a guy and they say “he was our first-round pick”. imagine your first-round pick being Not Having Tua Tagovailoa

evin sharing a pic of his “problematic fav” model from the LL Bean catalog who is wearing “grey Stewart” plaid and me gormlessly googling Grey Stewart as if it’s the models name

that’s now!

bang (non-sexual)

thanks!

Great way to teach a kid manners, let me tell you

He turns around, leaning over a guard’s arm holding him back, and signs an autograph for me *only* while telling me “you know why I’m signing this? it’s because you said ‘please’”

Jerome Bettis walks out, and that’s my favorite player at the time, right? It’s the Bus! He runs over people! He’s got guards escorting him past our little crowd yelling for him, and I’m just pleading, “MR. BETTIS PLEASE CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH PLEASE SIR”

Steelers get their asses kicked at home, so you know, players largely not in the mood for that sort of thing. I don’t know that; I’m ten. (Dad’s a fan of the away team so he’s in no way dissuaded here.) So I’m in a crowd along a railing by where the players leave with my little autograph book

first Steelers game I ever went to. I was ten years old, and my dad kind of always had a streak of recognizing things that fall under “it’s cute if a kid does it but an adult going alone would be weird”, so he locks in on trying to go around back at Heinz Field and get me autographs after the game

alright I got one (that I don’t think I’ve posted before, I’m not typing out the worm story again). this sounds fake in the sense that it sounds like an AI story that gets shared a bunch on Facebook

CASSIAN ANDOR TO THE MAYA PEI BRIGADE:

Arthur Smith doing the James Acaster “started making it, had a breakdown, bon appetit” gbbo scene, but his signature bake is getting Jonnu Smith the ball

jonnu shit-poopster

hit em with the Chuy Garcia move, classic

separate excerpt from Allam’s concession where she says “the AI lobby just bought its first seat in Congress” (first! and “just bought” for that matter, Foushee’s been there four years!)

a couple of “whoops I forgot republicans exist” moments here

not just me then

and we’re back

tfw reds demolish cuba

the day will come when we don’t have to do discourse about graham planter and when that day comes I’ll be here, typing and saving to drafts “just remembered when graham platner and his wife put out a video saying they were pursuing IVF, but don’t worry about his virile sperm; she’s the barren one”