Polar Johan

Conservatives finding out that poor people are allowed to buy the mustard brand that costs $1.25 more than the generic version:

Your pets when you tell them food time is actually one hour later today because the time got changed due to people thinking we somehow gain sunlight if we take an hour of day during the evening and put it in the morning instead:

Any time I'm somewhere my partner isn't: "Man, can't wait to get home to my best friend that I married, gonna be fucking amazing to spend time with her again"

Seeing dipshits making jokes that are some variation of "I hate my wife':

Absolutely believe that within like 2 years, people will be sending AI videos to women depicting their graphic violent rape & authorities will be like "Nothing we can do, sorry" while some 19YO is tossed in prison for 10 years for posting an AI video of a cop or politician saying "I smell like poop"

Watching all of conservative America line up to passionately defend and lionize a mass- murderering rapist who was a horrible fucking monster even by the standards of his time:

It legitimately makes me happy to see kids doing their own thing that older people don't get or like, I love that they're leaving us behind.

a man with long blonde hair and a beard is holding a fishing rod ALT: a man with long blonde hair and a beard is holding a fishing rod

Some people complaining about teenagers laughing over "67" saying it's annoying and doesn't make sense, meanwhile every time I see kids finding something I don't really understand hysterical I'm like this:

Yankees fans flip flopping back and forth every five seconds all day every day between bragging about the team has 27 rings and is the greatest sports team ever & crying hysterically about how they're the unluckiest franchise in history because they didn't win the World Series this year:

The Nobel Committee, giving the Nobel Peace Prize to someone that signed a cooperation agreement with the Israeli political party most responsible for the genocide in Gaza over Donald Trump:

Small towns dropping money to advertise their bland generic downtown as "thriving and historic" in an attempt to draw in business and tourism:

Defense Secretary under a Commander in Chief that wears 4 pounds of make-up and whose heart would explode if he tried to do a single pull-up speaking to a room full of career generals: "The President thinks you're fat and effeminate."

How the waiter always manages to find me when they stop by the table to ask how everything is:

Farmer says 'we're in a very dire situation' ahead of harvest—with zero soybean orders from China, historically the largest buyer | Fortune Caleb Ragland says his pleas to the Trump administration have fallen on deaf ears.

Imploding American agriculture to own the libs.
fortune.com/2025/09/09/s...

If only conservatives cancelling anyone saying negative things about Charlie Kirk because it's obscene to talk bad about the dead applied this same logic to Charlie in 2020 when he said George Floyd was a scumbag, Charlie would've lost his job and never been murdered, they could've saved his life.

Charlie Kirk deserves to receive the same level of decency and respect after his death that he gave to George Floyd after he was murdered. May people treat his death with no less compassion and kindness than Charlie gave to George.

Me these days seeing the things Gavin Newsom makes a conscious deliberate decision to not only say but actively post all over the entire Internet:

Just heard that a brand new bomb-ass gender-neutral bathroom is going to be opening up soon.

When you're sharing a bed with your kid and they spend 30 minutes squirming around nonstop to try and snuggle in closer to you:

And we all know damn well even if Trump rolled this shit they'd find a way to make sure those payouts never go to anyone but whitey-white white people that already have money

Yeah man, enough to cover two months of daycare, a car seat, and a couple weeks worth of formula, that's gonna get all the ladies on board.

Women living in a country with no paid maternity leave requirements and almost zero child care assistance where daycare often costs $2K+ per month per kid when Donny Dipshit floats five grand as an incentive for them to start pumping out babies:

If I criticize Democrats and liberals a lot more than MAGAs and the GOP, it's because I think there's some shred of humanity in them worth saving, whereas Republicans are just fucking flat-out deranged evil Nazis that deserve to be thrown into the sun, and that's all I really have to say about them.

because a Republican is doing it" and now I have to wait until a Democrat takes over and does the same things so I can realize it's actually fine and just something presidents have to do & saying it's bad will just help Republicans and we can't stop doing it because it'll make Democrats look weak.

and saying it was bad just helped Republicans and we couldn't stop doing it because it'd made Democrats look weak. Then they came for brown people in America, snatching them off the street and disappearing them and shipping them to overseas torture gulag concentration camps and I said "That's bad /4

away from them & throwing them in cages, and dismantling the US asylum system in violation of int'l law and I said "That's bad because a Republican is doing it" but then a Democrat took over and did the same things and I realized it was actually fine and just something presidents have to do /3

it was actually fine and just something presidents have to do and saying it was bad just helped Republicans and we couldn't stop doing it because it'd made Democrats look weak. Then they came for brown people that were crossing the border, terrorizing them with armed thugs, tearing their children /2