e're about two temper tantrums away from the 10pm to midnight TV schedules being reruns of Trump's military parade.
@pattonoswalt.bsky.social Nabisco stole Stella D’oro Breakfast Treat’s tagline!
Superman didn't become woke. You became an asshole.
My biggest takeaway from Bluesky at VidCon: Bluesky doesn't devalue links, so this is the best social platform to build a brand.
Musk saying Trump is in the Epstein files isn’t the ‘own’ he thinks it is.
That means Musk is either a brutally out of control liar or spent months elevating and promoting someone he knew to be an awful child predator.
We are about five executive orders away from “If any American travels internationally they’re a terrorist!”
In my decades of movie fandom I can only think of a few movies where I left the theater feeling blown away:
Pulp Fiction, Blair Witch Project, Memento, Eternal Sunshine, Spider-Verse.
I can now add ‘Sinners’ to that list.
I hate how much the Overton window has moved on the ‘immigrants are bad’ debate.
Immigrants are less likely to commit crimes.
Immigrants add $1.6 trillion in economic activity per year.
Half of Fortune 500 companies are founded by immigrants and their kids.
Let’s deport racists instead.
We have a head of HHS who believes in vibes-based medicine, a head of DOGE who believes in vibes-based government spending, and a president who believes in vibes-based policy.
What could go wrong?
Yes I plan on buying the Switch 2 with Mario Kart World on release date. No further questions.
Trump’s tariffs are like Thanos’s snap for the stock market.
The Onion is crushing it.
For no particular reason… Kefka, my favorite video game villain from Final Fantasy VI, a clown that became a leader, was disgusted by the problems of common people, and destroyed the world in his quest to become a god: thespinoff.co.nz/pop-culture/...
Don’t worry, the bull in the China shop is going to be fantastic for the China shop in the long run!
Felt cute. Might delete later.
I swear if one more employee compares me to Mr. Milchick I'm going to tell them to devour feculence...
Hey! We closed a bit of funding at Fixated! Also stepped into the Chief Business Officer role so I can now officially say I'm "in sales." www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/dig...
Happy Mario Day! Hug a plumber today.
Until prices go down, I will hereby refer to eggs as ‘chicken caviar’
Anti-vaxxers see a commercial that says ‘9 in 10 dentists recommend Trident’ then post “I’ve done extensive research and found a dentist brave enough to expose the deadly side effects of Trident gum”
A shocking amount of millennials grew up secretly rooting for Ivan Drago, Kingpin, Major Arnold Ernst Toht, and Hoggish Greedly.
(If you understand this we are best friends)
Must read: We Are Ending Our DEI Program at Four Loko www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/we-...
The ‘Gulf of America’ thing is the most Dwayne Elizando Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho move he’s made. Get ready for Brawndo, plants!
I'll take 'Tweets that Aged Perfectly' for $1,000, Alex:
Hey dummies: it is not a journalist’s job to present ‘both sides.’ It is a journalist’s job to dig as hard as they can learn the objective truth to the best of their abilities and report it.
Maybe we should ask AI how to keep the AI bubble from bursting
I imagine that the first question the priest and Levite asked was: ‘If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?’ But by the very nature of his concern, the good Samaritan reversed the question: ‘If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Reminder that partisan pundits believe in nothing or everything if it will make them a buck. Don’t listen to them.
Let’s be clear: when Zuck says he wants to bring ‘masculine energy’ to Meta he means trolling, misinformation, and racism. He’s talking about toxic masculinity, not chivalry.
