Vanity-Complex

Ariana grande holding Cynthia Erivos finger

Holding this space

Can we see the mullet 👀

I’m trying to think of a compliment but instead I’m just drooling all over my screen because 🥵🥵🥵

You know, I try to keep this space free of negativity or hate, but corporate jargon threatens every day to derail me as it poisons my beating heart

Reaffirming my belief that pretty people shouldn’t have to work 😌

May the fiberoptic gods deliver you fast and reliable internet service ASAP so you can go home and nap

Ideal date

A slightly better spoken translation: « Bonjour, je suis un réfugié de l’époque de humiliation aux États-Unis. Où est le bureau des statistiques plus proche ? » for added effect you can say « pouvez-vous m’y indiquer sur la carte » Happy surviving!

Thank god I’m mentally ill, otherwise how else would I be moderately funny online

God gave with both hands so you could give with both cheeks 🥵

Specifically if you use those deep blue LEDs I’m sending hate mail

Being sleepy AND horny at work?! Is it not enough torture that I have to participate in capitalism 😩

At that point it is simply a phone call 😩

Wanna show me how 🥺

Please do not disturb this gorgeous creature, but at their earliest convenience please give them a kiss on the head from me 😌

So handsome!

Picman that reads “I’m sugarplum?”

No, the goth is missing in action (MIA). They just found a stand-in in the meantime

Oh my god 🥵 good thing I stayed up so I can have sweet dreams

Heteronormativity in gay male sexuality is so crazy to me, because what do you mean you don’t wanna link with me because we’re both bottoms/tops.

Penetration isn’t the only way to achieve ecstasy/pleasure.

& before the vers girls comment, this isn’t for y’all.

Oh so the level of gorgeous is devastating, got it, got it. Taking notes👀📝

Why is every adult activity just a $30 transaction?

Hey, so I’m coming over and will bring some nice artisan coffee in exchange for one of these bad bois

Simply impossible, time is a social construct and poetry is eternal

The only thing better than gay marriage is gay divorce, because then you get to defile gods sacred matrimony twice 😌

I will avenge you in the afterlife. There is no god who knows me, fore I could not even know myself in a way that contains my multitudes and I will use this to create a spiritual weapon the likes of which no being could conceive.

Please, this isn’t the place for such dark and demonic language!

New fashion trend sweeping the nation: the mills ear beanie

Then again, there are people with celiacs which is proof that actually there likely wasn’t even a god to begin with because what creature would deprive or allow someone to be deprived of one of life’s most simple joys? But I digress

I know that if there is a god, they have left us alone on this earth, but the fact that pasta exists does make me wonder if maybe, just maybe