Pferdefreund ζ

Long time no entry, life is good, bonding really well with my horse, he gained a lot of self-confidence so as I, came to terms with myself that being zoo is not that big of a deal and be better kept by myself since I will also later this year will start a career where I will work with horses.

Probably soon having a "Pflegebeteilung" for a horse, means taking care of it, going for a walk and so on, I'm so excited 😊

Bought me a nice big calendar ofc with beautiful horses. I wouldn't have bought something like this in the past, I mean who still needs a physical calendar for the wall today? But I guess these little pleasures are part of the good life.

It's great to come home and all my clothes smell of horse^^

I am very proud of what I have achieved in the last 2 months, I am getting better and better at riding, I help out regularly, I am an accepted and respected member of my club, the anxiety hardly plays a role any more and I feel confident and able to find a job in this field in the future.

Bla bla bla u should educate yourself on the matter before giving "advice".

Got up early in the morning, went to my stable to help out, met new people, after that went to a game with some friends, laying now exhausted on my bed. Was a good day and I'm proud that I managed to do all of this even tho my psyche does not make it easy for me.

I'm happy for you that it went so well, also thinking about telling to my therapist, but still not sure if I should.

All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone. - Blaise Pascal

Yep, spent the last few days around people, got up early today and was at my stable and also the sun is shining bright. Feeling a lot better.

Thanks! I might give it a try :)

It seems like back like 20 years ago people where much more open and there was more community, now for good reasons people try to keep themself save. It's a paradox how we are more connected than ever in the world, but feel more disconnected than ever...

For me it's actually less the being in the closet part, more so the lack of community and guidance. Scrolling a lot through really old sites of other Zoos and with some of them, what they wrote, I can really relate but since there is no way to get in touch it makes me kinda sad.

The longer I deal with my #Zoophilia the more I come to the realization how insignificant it is on it's own. It feels like just another trait I have and spent to much time thinking about it. I should just go on in life like a normal person but I simply can't. It's kinda tormenting me.

The season takes it's toll, feeling more depressed then normal, probably because it's so dark outside and even tho I use a day light lamp at home, when I'm there, I'm alone, kinda sucks. I should probably be more proactive and meet with friends, instead of complaining about it here -.-

Today was also really good, before going there had some anxiety problems but soon as I've been at the place everything went so smooth as fuck, I don't know what happened but I feel so cool with myself being there, even tho I'm the only guy 😅

Went riding on Monday, even tho I was struggling with low-key anxiety before I went there, everything went very well. The Horses are treated well and people were really welcoming. Planning to go there now once a week for riding lessons and maybe join the club later this year.

I know it sounds very tacky but there is some truth in it, especially if all your neurons are trained to constantly overthink and worry.

An older Zoo said to me today:
"Brain is only ego, it's mostly the way that keeps you down".

That left a big impression on me.
For the most of my life I only listened to my brain, not my heart, made "rational" decisions and being miserable.

From now on I will follow my heart. #zoothoughts

Yes :)

How we treat our fellow living beings, regardless of their kind, defines our society. #zoothoughts

Just need to find a stable that treats their horses well, a few years ago, the two stables I've been to treated them really badly, dominated them, hurt them, once I saw my teacher hitting their horses with a stick. I felt so bad, that was the reason why I quit riding. #zoophilia #zoothoughts

I really want get back into riding, but not because of the sport. I hope long-term this will help me to generally have more experience with horses (not in a sexual way) and maybe help me to find a job in this field and/or help me to have my "own" in the future...

I really like the look of the spotted mare. Reminds me of another one from a few years ago when I went riding. She was so beautiful and had such a special character, I kinda fell in love with her and I'm really happy for the time we spent together.

Went for a short hike near my family's place and found some horsies. :)

Yea sure, I'm always up for a chat, just dm me :)

Thinking of speaking about my #zoophilia to my therapist. It's hard not to talk about it when the matter of discussion is for example, my needs or wishes or plans for the future which are intertwined with my love for horses. But I'm a little bit worried about his reaction.

I feel like there is a lack of space for zoophiles, I know that when I was first introduced into the topic around 2011, there was plenty of room, even like old school irc chats and generally much more interaction. Nowadays at least in the german scene everything is pretty much dead as it seems.

She died, it took them to long, I feel miserable that I could not help her.

What many people get wrong about #Zoophilia is the focus on the act, for me, at least, it's not important, more so just being with horses, of course if the opportunity arises and I find a mare which is also interested in me, if would take it, but in general I could life without it, no doubt.