Andy

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

My facial hair is gone and my vibes are all off for like two weeks now

Went to change an old username on an account to match most of my others and it had been taken by some fucking rat swiftie with zero followers or posts

Some days I really do hate that my surname is also the first name of one of the most famous and rabidly followed people in the world

A BBC news cover that says scientists reveal the secret. A photo of a fat little puffy dog is shown.

I fucking knew it.

Born on this day, 69 years ago. Carrie Frances Fisher 🎂
#CarrieFisher

The entire business model seems to be "we've made an app where your phone talks to you as if it's desperate to let you know how happy it is to be serving such a pathetic idiot"

The full quote: "I think the sublime confusion is from nineteen to twenty-nine. You think you are late for everything, you're a has been, nothing is happening, there's no opportunity for you, the world is closed, everything is a disaster, you wanna die. And then you're thirty. " "You young people are in the exact age of desperation. I never felt more done and old than in my twenties. I'd say 'life has passed me and I did nothing.' But I'm here to tell you that's not true: you have a lot of fucking time."

I love Guillermo del Toro calling ages 19 to 29 "sublime confusion"

They're straight

Close! But I'm pretty sure it's this guy

I hear you like a man in uniform

a bumper sticker that says “you wouldn’t cis a gender”

golden age

Star Trek TOS art, featuring floating heads of Kirk, Spock, and Bones.

Poster for Blade Runner, featuring floating heads of the characters.

Poster for Back to the Future Part II, with Doc and Marty both lifting shades to look at their watches with the Delorean nearby.

Poster for ET, with ET in the woods reaching for a floating UFO, with the lights of a city grid in the background.

RIP Drew Struzan

Give him three days and ask him again

What five events defined your childhood?

1. Diana's death
2. Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out of My Head
3. 9/11
4. Invasion of Afghanistan
5. The Fellowship of the Ring

What's more surprising to me is that numbers 2-5 all took place in 2001

I regret to inform you a second Labubu has hit Karl Marx's grave

Honestly I did get a mild stomach drop at one point from all those hills and I thought it was such a brilliant achievement that the cinematographer managed to make me nauseous from how they shot that

Just crop the picture and hope your personal trainer doesn't ask too many follow up questions

I loved it! While I do feel my enjoyment went up and down here and there, by the end I was absolutely sold. Benicio del Toro is incredible - wish he got double his screen time tbh

I am hereby announcing my intention to win the euromillions jackpot and so now I am a millionaire - is that how this works?

Dr. Jane Goodall filmed an interview with Netflix in March 2025 that she understood would only be released after her death.

- Reverend? I swallowed a paperclip!
- Read your bible, Ned
- Any particular passage?
- Oh... it's all good

Today I have been suffering with Sweaty Bitch Disease, for which there is no known cure

Leaked Upcoming Labour Policies:
- Jaywalkers to pay for NHS treatment
- Landlords get tax break after their 3rd holiday
- Reeves to unveil monument/replica of £50bn black hole (public urged to drop in cash to help with gvt finances)
- Restart HS2 Euston to Dover (to help transport migrants to EU)

Fascinating that people were wrong about the rapture again. Who could have guessed? Especially when the bible explicitly has that passage saying about "nobody will know the day nor the hour". No way to know if they'll get the date right next time though. Best of luck!

Sunning myself on a Spanish beach, I have just locked eyes with a topless female clone of Patton Oswalt. Neither of us knew what to do.

There is something deliciously cunty about wearing sunglasses at night with an all black outfit

Isn’t science amazing?

It would be such an easy study as well since the reason in 95% of cases is "someone thought this would make them more money"