Given how obviously fruitily I dress at work, I'm beginning to think my rainbow lanyard is a little redundant
idk why but it just feels unprofessional of my dealer to promote their snapchat account to me
My Bigfoot Truther groupchats will finally be accurately emojied
Finally emoji representation for @andxtay.bsky.social
We currently have FIFTEEN (15) multimillion € EU applications due next week and I am definitely coping very well with it all
I'm struggling with my love for Lord of the Rings & Shrek. Smashmouth sang "all that glitters is gold" but Tolkien wrote "all that is gold does not glitter" I know they aren't necessarily contradictory statements bu-
My therapist: I meant what are you struggling with since your mental breakdown
Please do - I've been waiting for a reason to quit vaping and "cigarettes are in now" sounds like a great one. Especially if it's those cunty gold filter tipped ones that come in pastel colours
Heartbroken that I'm away today so I can't spend the evening making a full three course crêpe meal like I usually do on Pancake day
I'm at the airport and this guy next to me just tried to get six Gü cheesecakes through security in his hand luggage. Absolutely unhinged (but admirable) dedication to desserts
“…and Keir Starmer, who did NOT resign…”
Quick, fetch the lettuce!
Have a selfie
The (bullshit imo) reason is that they're potential trip hazards in shared exit routes and some are made from flammable materials
I also got a letter saying the same and my response was to ignore it. If they want to, they can come and collect my doormat. Over a year later and I still have it so 🤷🏻♂️
Piranesi by Susanna Clarke. One of my all time favourites and it's incredible how much is packed into such a short book
Turns out that three days of heavy drinking does in fact make me tired. Must be all the ageing I've been doing lately
Good to see Gladiators having a measurable cultural impact in a very crowded field.
British education in a nutshell
Another 4am Kate Bush night
It's been far too long
THAT FACE!
#TheTraitors
I've just seen a fucking EASTER EGG in Tesco
They made Yzma into a bird!?!?
Here’s to 2026
I've had a beard instead of my usual moustache for the past month or so but after today's discourse I will be reverting back to a proud moustache wearer once again in solidarity
Has woke gone too far?
And a pickaxe for a seven year old 🤪
God give it a rest ye merry gentlemen
Proof that one of my aunties has gone fully insane: giving a three year old a hammer for Christmas
She does love it though 🤷🏻♂️
