helena 🧃

girl who visited the rainforest cafe for the first time in 20 years

he would like to speak with you about your car’s extended warranty,,,

angry executive moments before important board meeting dangerous atmosphere very intimidating don’t mess with him

she happenstanced on my incidentalisms until i holy moly me o my

a cat sticking its tongue out and looking up ALT: a cat sticking its tongue out and looking up

i’m so fucking obsessed with this gif lmaoooooo

does anybody know if this app will get better or perhaps even just a little more entertaining

deleted this on twitter and sharing it over here instead to keep everyone on their toes

blaming the woke left for jasper ignoring me after i meowed at him

the xxxtentacles disciples on twitter are coming for me with pitchforks because i shared a screenshot of me leaving their messiah on read after he tried sliding in my dms a year before he died. like it was funny! sorry you’re offended but he was a piece of shit don’t know what else to tell you

maybe i will be hated or looked at differently for this but i am definitely guilty of being that asshole driver who is tailgating you on the freeway if you’re in the left lane going under 65 at minimum regardless of the speed limit……and idgaf……read the road granny!

many such cases of like mother like son,…

there have been some disturbingly ugly men trying to come for my appearance in the last 36 hours or so,,

i’m being gangstalked by hello kitty and friends

need cat bluesky to notice Jasper

choose your corporate fighter (more deets in alt text)

my dad went on a tirade about how our tax dollars are “funding millions of illegals’ free healthcare” while citizens like me are struggling to afford their own and i asked him if he got that from fox news and he paused and was like “…actually yes, but it’s the news so they can’t lie” oh my god

oversharing stops at 10 followers 💯

using alt text so i can further explain the post and overshare

since this is supposed to be a safe space i genuinely really enjoy addison rae as a pop star and diet pepsi honestly was one of the best songs of the year idgaf!

If you're a baby who was just born and you're already crying, sorry but you're not gonna make it

ummm, guys…someone told me my self portrait….looks like me…..😳…..and now i can’t unsee it. this shit is cuckoo bananas i cannot make this up!

very well said! 👏

for the past 2 months my twitter timeline has been shoving information about the wicked movie i didn’t ask for down my throat so now i naturally feel like i should go see it but i’m extremely turned off by it being 2.5 hours long and there being a second part coming out in a year??? no…no thank you

can someone please tell me how to get off of coffee and wine parent bluesky

and the 3 oomfs dancing are you, jasper, and murphy

not my first unfollower after this post…….ijbol

and idrgaf that i only have 9 followers on here i’m gonna keep yapping like there’s 999991 more of you

i’m kinda addicted to giving jasper a little kiss on the head when the opportunity presents itself

a very fat monkey is sitting on the ground eating a piece of bread . ALT: a very fat monkey is sitting on the ground eating a piece of bread .

the weed seems to always “run out” conveniently around the time i need it most

okay and a car just drove past my house. nobody gaf