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CrapPortraits

@crapportraits.bsky.social

Commissions considered, as presents for people you hate. @Crap_portraits on twitter www.hisdancingleg.com

361 Followers  |  352 Following  |  234 Posts  |  Joined: 27.10.2023  |  1.711

Latest posts by crapportraits.bsky.social on Bluesky


Out on my daily walk here. Just walked past 2 houses on the same street (more of less opposite each other) who still have their Christmas trees up (fully decorated, lights not on though). Is this some sort of neighbour bet?

04.02.2026 15:22 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Image shows using hand dryer is loud, with image of man with fingers in ears

Image shows using hand dryer is loud, with image of man with fingers in ears

When using hand dryer remember to place fingers in ears.

29.01.2026 14:41 β€” πŸ‘ 5    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Twixmas Tranquillity. This was a very serene view today. Stunning weather for December

30.12.2025 15:59 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Friday portrait

It’s a portrait, but not one you’ll ever recognise, so nothing new to see then.

19.12.2025 19:05 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

From tomorrow the evenings start to get brighter, so there's that.

17.12.2025 16:08 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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Latest sketch of some Geordie Jokers #antanddec from #imacelebrity

02.12.2025 22:44 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Flip sake, 21 hours and 1 like, that's a scandal !

03.12.2025 20:18 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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Friday portrait, easy if you know who it is.

28.11.2025 19:01 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0
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I can’t begin to believe how excited you are to see a Friday portrait. It’s hardly a weekend without one.
youll no doubt be relieved and astounded in equal measure to hear that no AI was used in its production.
truly crap, but you wouldn’t have it by other way.

21.11.2025 18:55 β€” πŸ‘ 6    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

You’ll be glad to know you’re both wrong 😁

15.08.2025 23:27 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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I haven’t done a brilliant portrait in a long time. No change there then.

15.08.2025 20:55 β€” πŸ‘ 7    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0
Packet of chicken reduced from Β£2.50 to to Β£2.49

Packet of chicken reduced from Β£2.50 to to Β£2.49

Who doesn't love a bargain?

14.08.2025 20:05 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Just out getting a bit of shopping... spotted this

22.07.2025 17:42 β€” πŸ‘ 9    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

😜

18.07.2025 22:40 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Here’s a portrait I did six years ago. I don’t really like most of my portraits but I like a few, this is one, even though it’s crap (obvs).

18.07.2025 20:37 β€” πŸ‘ 6    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0
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OK, Ive had a short break from portraits and this week I have returned to charcoal.
You'll be relieved to know that no fragment of skill has accidentally be lodged in this weeks portrait. Normal service has been resumed.

27.06.2025 18:01 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0
Car parked about 50 percent into a space

Car parked about 50 percent into a space

Easily the worst park I've seen in a decade. There was no one in the car, this is a "park".

25.06.2025 21:58 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Yes, really

06.06.2025 20:06 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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Sunday dose of tranquillity

01.06.2025 19:09 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
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#1776 this is actor Laurence Fishburne

31.05.2025 17:32 β€” πŸ‘ 4    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0
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#1775 this is actor Ciaran Hinds

31.05.2025 17:28 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0

Probably wouldn’t be my choice either.

24.05.2025 18:31 β€” πŸ‘ 1    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

The beer or the yogurt?

23.05.2025 23:25 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

😁

23.05.2025 23:24 β€” πŸ‘ 0    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

I was in a supermarket today. I can’t help but be in awe of other people’s shopping baskets. One guy has 172 bottles of coors beer and a packet of nappies. Another had 16 0.5l , that’s 8 litres of yogurt. The mind boggles 🀯

23.05.2025 23:07 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0
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Friday night, must be time for a portrait. I have a feeling you’ll not guess this one.

23.05.2025 18:01 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0
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It’s Friday portrait time, for those of you that can be bothered. I really must get back to paper one of these days.
Not this week though.

09.05.2025 18:01 β€” πŸ‘ 5    πŸ” 2    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 1
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Friday goslings in the sunshine.

09.05.2025 13:50 β€” πŸ‘ 2    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0
Drawing of Idris Elba

Drawing of Idris Elba

Drawing of the epic Idris Elba.
#art #humansofbluesky

20.04.2025 21:57 β€” πŸ‘ 56    πŸ” 3    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 1
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Here’s a portrait I drew in April 2017.

19.04.2025 13:29 β€” πŸ‘ 5    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

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