When you’re anxious “nervous laughter” is just called “laughter”
That iconic photograph on the cover of London Calling, only it’s me trying to smash open a box of Wheat Thins
Are you a big red button? Because I want to press you so hard
If I were to be a type of roadway, I'd be a cycle path.
Yes, I've done that as well.
Smart! It had happened to me before as well. Sucked
as a man i can confidently say that we all look so dumb when we mosey through a room
There's something fucked up in the air, and I don't like it one bit.
Operator, I would like to place a long-distance call to my sense of well-being.
My level of attraction to Harry Styles is 0%. Nobody cares, but now everyone knows.
My brain is on fire because March is weird for me
you guys should go to sleep and stop being a bad influence on me
You got your account back! Woohoo.
Don't tell me your zodiac, tell me what words you've muted
Thats the way! 😆
Why like a skeet when you can reskeet it and make someone feel noticed.
Thats great.
hallucinations from your medication? call that a pillusion
Yup. 😆
My favourite part of being in my home town is pretending i don't remember the people i knew but didn't really want to know and escaping without that dreaded chit chat.
I swear I'm fun at parties.
Fuck, yes!
First date idea: we steal the cheese grater from Olive Garden and take turns grating cheese into each other’s mouths.
With age comes manuals for appliance you don't even own anymore
live
laugh
let that relationship end, sweetie
No date. All blank. 😆
I'm like if Guy Fieri was different.
😁
I only saw the first one. 😆
My journal is just me writing nothing.
I just heard a crazy old woman in the street yelling 'don't you fucking dare walk away from me you fucking bellend' and all I could think was 'mother?'.
