ash

Hiya! 🙂

I keep clutching my pearl necklace but my hands get so sticky.

Fuck it send

waking up to another marvelous day of ahhh fuck

You're welcome

something that i find existentially alarming is ppls ability to just lie to themselves.

going into stand by (me) mode

Good night! 😀

You're a real kick in the ass. <inspired>

Corpse juices. Come and get your corpse juices. Sweet and salty corpse juices.

Today is brought to you by the letter F.

slouching tiger forbidden dragon

Being indecisive makes me mysterious.

shhh 🤫
I'm watching you sleep

Me..I know things while choosing not to know things.

That's art.

Ugh.

I just picked up a spider with my BARE hand thinking it was a piece of fuzz. I don’t want to hear shit about your “problems”

All my skeets are fragrance-free

Sure, if a dog pees on the curb, it's fine, but if I do it, I'm "arrested"

Bitches on YouTube telling me how to clean and when.

Repeat after me:
I am not a moderator on this site.

inventor of Triscuits: what if you could eat wicker furniture

it’s all good. I didn’t want a happily ever after anyways

Dream about giving them nightmares

Unhinged, but in an insufferable and annoying way

-me, reading the byline on my resume

wow go to bed with a heating pad on your back one time one time and suddenly it's like a meth addiction

Dudes out here building dreams within dreams within dreams instead of getting therapy.

do you think ducks are upset we call bad doctors “quacks”

whispering carelessly

If I like your tweet im making fun of you!