Which stores are offering a free Ο today? I could really use a new table.
As a decorated Battlefield 3 vet, I know how difficult it is to seize control of Kharg Island. Hope he's not dumb enough to try.
Peanut or plain?
In the northeast region of the US, they call it Pizza Day instead of Pi Day just to mess with us.
Get yourself a girl who'll have dinner and watch Survivor with you on a Friday night.
I wish I didn't need Amazon, but it's the only place to find certain basic necessities, such as pillows that look like giant baguettes for example.
If "Yo quiero Taco Bell" isn't part of your pop culture knowledge, weβre already failing the vibe check.
him scarf now
My grocery store changed its layout and now it's just a simulation designed to test my patience.
I refer to it as the good ole days π
At least compost serves a useful purpose. Mine are like microplastics, they'll only harm us.
Am I recycling old jokes from my Mastodon days? Yes.
Are the jokes still terrible and cringey? Also, yes.
If cats spin fast enough, they are capable of bending the space-time fabric.
One day I'll be mature enough to not laugh at the name of the airliner, "Air Lingus," but that day is not today.
why do we need a new scary movie when televised White House press conferences are right there?
Do you say NUR-vana like a normal person or NEER-vana like you learned about them from a TikTok?
Imma need a gallon of milk by the time we're finished
Fourth... you guessed it, oreos
Good die.
Have luck.
Don't fun.
And second, also oreos
Not sure if my interviewer appreciated my answer of "Hopefully working at We Rate Dogs" when asked where I see myself in 5 years.
It's Friday the 13th, so I bet Jason V. would oblige.
At least we're here together. Better get comfortable!
Kinda sad the 2100 bots from my old account didn't follow me here. They seemed to like everything I post.
π Well dammit to hell
