[at stoplight]
*gets out of car, knocks on driver's window behind me after following me for 3 turns*
Me: Are you obsessed with me?
10.10.2025 22:03 — 👍 83 🔁 41 💬 3 📌 0
got into an argument with my cat again but we came to an agreement: she can do whatever she wants
08.10.2025 16:55 — 👍 418 🔁 112 💬 9 📌 2
feeling very......
*flailing all the limbs
10.10.2025 21:55 — 👍 115 🔁 31 💬 6 📌 1
*stands outside Mastodon holding a boombox over my head*
10.10.2025 20:13 — 👍 64 🔁 21 💬 3 📌 0
ME: Is there another name for the large seaweed that grows to form underwater forests?
GIRLFRIEND: Sea kelp
ME: Omg that's why I'm asking YOU Sharon
10.10.2025 19:09 — 👍 87 🔁 30 💬 3 📌 0
But what will we tell the demons who fell in love in the heat of our embrace?
06.09.2025 05:51 — 👍 65 🔁 37 💬 2 📌 0
friendly reminder, our taxes pay for the military in israel to get free tuition and free healthcare
10.10.2025 18:49 — 👍 127 🔁 37 💬 0 📌 0
most of the time i’m just wishing I was asleep
10.10.2025 21:02 — 👍 88 🔁 24 💬 2 📌 0
I’m sorry guys i just can’t do another social media move. If u dm me your address i will send my posts via usps.
10.10.2025 05:20 — 👍 290 🔁 56 💬 11 📌 3
Pssst, asking for help is sexy AF
10.10.2025 14:03 — 👍 70 🔁 23 💬 1 📌 2
no one should get a nobel prize until weird al gets one
09.10.2025 21:15 — 👍 25 🔁 11 💬 0 📌 1
If they don't let you baby bird their spunk in their mouth after a blowjob, are they really the one?
10.10.2025 18:55 — 👍 14 🔁 6 💬 3 📌 0
😂😂
10.10.2025 21:50 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
She's going to create a scene, I can just tell
10.10.2025 21:49 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
😂
10.10.2025 21:48 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
This will be the SIXTH government shut down in my lifetime. Mind you, I'm only 30.
Shutdowns need harsher punishments, those fuckers shouldn't be paid at all if they shutdown
30.09.2025 15:03 — 👍 19 🔁 4 💬 2 📌 0
If you want to search a vengeful ghost you need a warrant signed by a grudge but seriously, all the business you have collected so far isn't unfinished enough to be admissable
09.10.2025 16:01 — 👍 95 🔁 47 💬 1 📌 0
paint the fence sand the floors wax the cars mind the balls
10.10.2025 20:27 — 👍 7 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
can mosquitos smell farts
10.10.2025 04:23 — 👍 72 🔁 25 💬 14 📌 0
errbody in the club playin frisbee wait this is a dog park
10.10.2025 15:51 — 👍 63 🔁 17 💬 1 📌 0
😂
10.10.2025 21:33 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
I don't know what that means but I'm in!
10.10.2025 21:32 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
My eyeglasses are held together by the tiniest possible amount of screw, exactly like my marriage was.
10.10.2025 12:31 — 👍 25 🔁 7 💬 3 📌 0
That looks like an eye infection, not Maybelline
08.10.2025 12:10 — 👍 71 🔁 20 💬 4 📌 1
upon my death i request to be placed in a clawfoot tub filled with marshmallows and suspended over a fire so people can make s’mores out of me
10.10.2025 00:42 — 👍 179 🔁 47 💬 10 📌 1
Brain damage is probably my most endearing quality.
10.10.2025 09:08 — 👍 147 🔁 64 💬 6 📌 0
Youth pastor: you know who else was GOATED?
06.10.2025 05:37 — 👍 12 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
Happy accidents
10.10.2025 16:12 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
#IKeepMyEyesOn my fish.
09.10.2025 20:08 — 👍 27 🔁 6 💬 1 📌 0
Don't talk to me until I'm drunk
08.10.2025 16:01 — 👍 31 🔁 6 💬 0 📌 0
👓 Your favorite end-times therapist.
🇨🇦 Ton thérapeute préféré pour la fin des jours.
Doing my best. 💪
Je fais de mon mieux. 🤔
You’ll find me at Fred Meyer
Seattle, Washington, USA
just weebin along
i like to draw
This is not a dating site, democracy is under attack & y'all can't check your dix at the door? GTFO.
This space intentionally left blank
I’m a teacher and a mother just trying to make the world a better place.
Professor of Sociology, UCLA. Human Dancer.
Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen
*Rewilding future 🤞 Climate Conservation Horticulture Permaculture*
*Rare New Wave DJ* *All New Wave*
*Metaphysics*
*Aspiring polyglot 🇫🇷 🇮🇱 🇬🇷 🇩🇪 🇨🇳 🇯🇵 🇸🇪 🇺🇦...*
*Wellness 🏳️🌈*
*Caturday*
*Previous indie singer/musician & doodler...*
Cover Art= Bettina Henni
• 💙🇺🇸 • I vote •
• I laugh at funny things •
• California lib •
• don't argue with me •
• my body fuck off •
pfp artwork by Kelly Reemtsen
🏳️🌈 🩷💛💙 ⚧️
Just a dad.
Part trash panda.
Not associated with P4P, but linking them because their cause is something I feel strongly about:
https://www.parents4peace.org/
https://www.lifeafterhate.org/
https://www.thefyouproject.com/
Wife, mom, foster mom to cats & kittens, Parkinson’s Disease, new & old books, Calif. native happily living in the other wine country in our state. I reshare memes.
MINNEAPOLIS ALSO: SAINT PAUL This is the ideal BlueSky bio. You should copy it.
Folklore, Mythology, Literature, Libraries, Archives, and whatnot.
Say something to me if you want a follow back
MN | 38
solo poly nonbinary goldstar bisexual aro slut
Accidentally an accountant
