Theciscokidder

Typed “arch enemies” into Google and under People Also Ask it said: ‘Is having an arch nemesis healthy?’ Like are you serious lol it’s insane that people even think that way of course it is.

clean the blades on your ceiling fan, slob

Hey! You're frigging amazing, okay?

You don't truly appreciate magnetic fridge notepads until you're in your forties

You can shimmy down my chimney if you wanna

If there was one word to describe me, it would be whatever the opposite of "hype" is.

I regret nothing...wait everything.

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.

Auguries of Innocence
William Blake

🙌

Snort laughing just to make a good impression.

Depends on size and material but anywhere from 1k all the way up to 8k. Maybe 10k with a huge wall.

Leave me on read, I only respond with omens now anyway.

There's an artistic representation of each moment in an endless museum, a heist of your stolen kiss under the moon has been reported. We don't usually cover sexy ice sculptures but luckily for you replicas of it sure outsexy our insurance memories

no longer making myself small for anyone

~Alice in Wonderland, probably

If you never repost then I assume you’re a narcissist that looks at themselves in the mirror and says you’re the prettiest person you know

Halle Berry is short for Hallelujah Strawberry. The more you know.

I don't need this. [gestures to everything]

No health, just mental.

My favorite -taculars?
Spec
Spook
Crap

The test subjects in the beta project today were labelled "testees" and my inner 13 year old absolutely frolicked

🙌

Thankful for street drugs and subway hugs.

I would like to be the little spoon at least once in my life time

Today feels like a fine day to stop giving a shit for awhile.

Our pilot just told us to “hang on and have fun”
I’m sure everything will be fine

Who's that casting…devious stares at my erection?

Holiday elf shown videotaping Barbie dolls in a sink filled with bubbles.

My vision of a holiday elf is different from yours.

Babe wake up

The ruling elite wants your flesh

My 95 year old grandma just told my cousin to fuck off.

I honestly don't know what I would do without you people. 😘