Dibs Next

New York City Added as Newest Marvel Rivals Character

Marvel Rivals released a new character today: New York City.

“Yooooooo!!!!! New York City is my favorite MCU character!!!” said a Twitter user. “I think it had a cameo in Taxi Driver.”

Full story: dibsnext.com/new-york-cit...

Cinephile’s Monologue About ‘The Brutalist’ Requires Intermission

Local filmgoer Damian Burgess gave a monologue about Brady Corbet’s The Brutalist that was desperately in-need of an intermission, according to frustrated friends.

Full story: dibsnext.com/cinephiles-m...

Man Fooled by Obvious Satirical Article "Honestly Wouldn't Be Surprised" if The Minions Won Gubernatorial Primary MINNESOTA — After being teased for posting “This country has gone to seed,” with a link to a blatantly satirical article in which Illumination’s The Minions win the New Jersey Republican Gubernatorial...

After being teased for posting “This country has gone to seed,” with a link to a blatantly satirical article in which Illumination’s The Minions win the New Jersey Republican Gubernatorial Primary, Samuel Dimplebar doubled down on his silly mistake.

film bro who just farted: "safdie!"

Luigi Mangione Booked By NYPD, Dave Franco Booked By Paramount Actor Dave Franco has reportedly already signed on to play Luigi Mangione, the suspect currently in custody as the potential killer of Brian Thompson.

Luigi Mangione Booked By NYPD, Dave Franco Booked By Paramount

wrote this article about the strange darkness of Twin Peaks

Extremely Weird “Twin Peaks” Episode Has Haunting Black Lines on Either Side of Screen An extremely weird episode of cult classic television show Twin Peaks features two terrifying black bars on either side of the screen.

Extremely Weird “Twin Peaks” Episode Has Haunting Black Lines on Either Side of Screen

WHOA! Dakota Johnson Reveals Starbucks Drinks Are Actually Just a Few Syrups You Can Make at Home for Cheaper LOS ANGELES — While on the press tour for “Madame Web,” Dakota Johnson, famous for nonchalantly revealing dark secrets from an insider’s perspective, pulled the veil back on the famous lattes and macc...

WHOA! Dakota Johnson Reveals Starbucks Drinks Are Actually Just a Few Syrups You Can Make at Home for Cheaper

“Doing Prequels Is Pointless — You Already Know What's Going To Happen,” Says Man Who Will One Day Die NEW YORK — Nathaniel Barron, who is currently in lockstep with every other person on Earth in the inexorable march towards the oblivion of unbeing that is death, claims there is no point in creating p...

Nathaniel Barron, who is currently in lockstep with every other person on Earth in the inexorable march towards the oblivion of unbeing that is death, claims there is no point in creating prequels as the ending is predetermined.

Netflix Announces Stand-Up Special From Lydia Tár Disgraced conductor Lydia Tár will be recording her first ever hour-long comedy special at the upcoming Netflix Is A Joke festival.

Netflix Announces Stand-Up Special From Lydia Tár

Prue Leith Stoically Carries Out Executions of Second and Third-Place "Bake Off" Contestants WELFORD PARK, U.K. — Upon awarding the famous glass cake stand trophy to the winner of this year’s Great British Bake Off, Dame Prue Leith drew her blade with a grim resolve and fluidly executed its r...

Upon awarding the famous glass cake stand trophy to the winner of this year’s Great British Bake Off, Dame Prue Leith drew her blade with a grim resolve and fluidly executed its runners-up.

Classic Thanksgiving: Aunt Insists Arcane's Zaun Differs Too Greatly From Source Material THE DINNER TABLE — Aunt Margaret, 62, has once again disrupted Thanksgiving by offering her opinion on Netflix’s Arcane, suggesting it is not faithful enough to the Zaun she knows and loves from Leagu...

Aunt Margaret, 62, has once again disrupted Thanksgiving by offering her opinion on Netflix’s Arcane, suggesting it is not faithful enough to the Zaun she knows and loves from League of Legends.

dibsnext.com/classic-than...

BREAKING: A-List Movie Star Potentially Willing to Do Sequel William Starr expressed that he would be willing to star in a sequel, spinoff, or prequel to his most recent film, Acceptances.

BREAKING: A-List Movie Star Potentially Willing to Do Sequel

Toho Studios Announces Godzilla Minus One/Minus Color/Minus Godzilla/Plus Morbius/Plus Color Toho Studios announced today that a new version of “Godzilla Minus One” will be released in February 2024.

Toho Studios Announces Godzilla Minus One/Minus Color/Minus Godzilla/Plus Morbius/Plus Color

Normally I don’t like when people take shots at dine in movie theaters, but this is some classic old Onion type content

Alamo Drafthouse Chefs Announce New “Loudest Chips Yet” The Alamo Drafthouse proudly announced today that it is now serving a new line of chips in all locations that are said to be their loudest yet.

Alamo Drafthouse Chefs Announce New “Loudest Chips Yet”

Drake has come out against Kendrick Lamar, accusing the rapper of an international scheme to make texting high-school-aged girls appear creepy.

I regret asking that they change my name for the sake of anonymity

Train Crashes Through Repertory Screening of “L’arrivée d’un Train en Gare de la Ciotat” NEW YORK — In a tragic turn of events at The Angelika Film Center & Cafe, a B train burst through the walls during a screening of L’arrivée d’un Train en Gare de la Ciotat, which is almost French for ...

Train Crashes Through Repertory Screening of “L’arrivée d’un Train en Gare de la Ciotat”

Joe Biden’s Approval Skyrockets After Beginning “The Substance” Treatment Joe Biden’s approval ratings have dramatically increased in the final months of his presidency following his use of the controversial “The Substance” drug.

Joe Biden’s Approval Skyrockets After Beginning “The Substance” Treatment

Confused about what a Rotten Tomatoes score means for a movie? Despite popular belief, the number is NOT the percentage of the movie you're supposed to watch.

Read more: dibsnext.com/rotten-tomat...

The economy of Westeros has begun to falter following the ascendancy of King “Ronald” Raegon Targaryen, First of His Name.

Source: dibsnext.com/westeros-in-...

Letterboxd User Misses Last 85 Minutes of Movie Thinking of Perfect One-Liner Letterboxd user Sean Hicks reportedly missed the final 85 minutes of the 119-minute Citizen Kane trying to think of a review for the film

Letterboxd User Misses Last 85 Minutes of Movie Thinking of Perfect One-Liner

Marvel Studios announced today that its upcoming film “The Fantastic Four” will be set in the 60s, specifically in the low 60% range of Rotten Tomatoes’ tomatometer.

Source: dibsnext.com/new-fantasti...

Comedian Dave Chappelle is in critical condition at a local hospital after hitting his knee so hard following a joke about his pronouns that his entire leg shattered.

Source: dibsnext.com/dave-chappel...

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the final scene in THE SUBSTANCE should have been a reveal that the substance is actually just water. and your ability to turn into a younger sexier version of yourself was in you all along