Stone Cold Jane Austen

Fuck it. Let’s spring forward again tonight.

A text from Pizza Hut reads: Goodnight ❤️❤️

Night night, Pizza Hut

She said “cahoots” like she’s my granny shoutin from the Davenport

Five Iranian women footballers 'in Australian safe house' after Asian Cup protest Concern has grown for team after one critic called them 'wartime traitors' for failing to salute during the Iranian anthem.

Five members of the Iranian women's football team have taken refuge in a safe house in Australia following their elimination in the Asian Cup bbc.com/news/article...

Barista. And how do you take your sugar?

Me: In the raw?

Barista: In the raw.

“International Women’s Boxing Day” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Calling in sick for International Women's Boxing Day

Photo w caption: A person flees after throwing a homemade explosive device during a protest organized by far-right influencer Jake Lang in front of Mayor Zohran Mamdani's official residence on Saturday. Charly Triballeau / AFP - Getty Images

NBC - Two arrested and two IEDs seized as right wingers hold an anti-Islam demo outside Gracie Mansion today during Ramadan. Not immediately known if Mayor Mamdani was home.

www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...

A baby deer in an empty train terminal, looking confused yet cute

This is how I feel after we “spring forward”

A handicap blue and white painted sign on the asphalt of a parking space. The symbols are meant to be a pregnant women and a baby stroller, but it doesn't look like that. It looks like pac man being killed with scissors next to a dancer

Twerkers at the barbeque get priority parking 🫡

What about this made you think of me, Raymond? Lol

I’d really like to see your AWP hauls and hear your AWP anecdotes, writer friendos…

Lindsey Graham looks like the Ghost of Daylight Savings Past

I don’t know what this means, but I stand by it

Lindsey Graham looks like the Ghost of Daylight Savings Past

Trump has the opportunity to do the funniest thing on International Women’s Day today

Daylight Saving Time makes me feel uncomfortably interdimensional for at least one day

Ben Shapiro with little eye brows and an inability to please his wife in bed vs Ben Shapiro with giant eye brows and an inability to please his wife in bed

It’s 2007. I’m mad at my little brother so I fuck up his Nintendo Mii’s face…

Ben Shapiro with little eye brows and an inability to please his wife in bed vs Ben Shapiro with giant eye brows and an inability to please his wife in bed

It’s 2007. I’m mad at my little brother so I fuck up his Nintendo Mii’s face…

Oscar Piastri has crashed out of the Australian Grand Prix*

*which does not start for thirty minutes

The covers of three books. Left to right: Gandolfini: Jim, Tony, and the life of a legend, about the late Sopranos actor. The cover shows Gandolfini looking shy, peering offscreen with one unobstructed eye and another that peeks out between the fingers of his right hand. CENTER: The cover of Cinema Her Way, a coffee table book by Marya E. Gates about female directors. On the cover is actress Michelle Rodriguez as the boxer heroine of Karyn Kusama's sports drama Girlfight, about a woman boxer. RIGHT David Hockney's painting collection The Arrival of Spring in Normandy, showing a painting of a verdant field. In the background of the field is green grass. in the upper foreground are the branches of a tree sprouting white, cottony buds.

A screenshot of the pre-orders section at mzs.press. Three screenshots of books that have not yet been released. I Am The Night, Daniel Dockery's book about Batman the Brave and the Bold, has a silhouette of Batman stretching from the top to the bottom of the cover, with the title of the book and a nighttime Gotham skyline circumscribed by the borders of the Batman silhouette. CENTER The cover of The Ring Cycle, Matt Zoller Seitz and Odie Henderson's book on the Rocky and Creed films. The cover is white except for a pair of black boxing gloves floating there RIGHT The cover of Documentary Now!, the 600-page, 7-pound coffee table book celebrating the aforementioned IFC Channel series parodying classic documentaries.

Screenshot of three books carried at mzs.press arts bookstore: LEFT: Cover of Lead Sister, a biography of Karen Carpenter, featuring a closeup of Carpenter playing and singing with The Carpenters. CENTER: The cover of Anthony Hopkins' We Did OK, Kid, a memoir of his life and career. On the cover is Hopkins in closeup as he looks presently, narrowed blue eyes looking directly at the spectator. RIGHT: Cover of Louis Armstrong In His Own Words, a collection of the bandleader's correspondence. The cover image is a photograph of a probably fortysomething Armstrong seated at the wooden desk in his office where he often wrote letters.

Screenshot of the covers of 3 books carried at mzs.press Arts Bookstore. LEFT: The cover of Gotham City Cocktails, a book of mixed drink recipes inspired by Batman. Art deco-style flowing border lines flow around and around the interior of the dust jacket. At the center are drawings of two tall cocktail glasses and between them, a shot glass and a tumbler with a sword-pierced cherry in it. CENTER: The cover of Downton Abbey Afternoon Tea Cookbook. Green cover, white writing and graphics. The central image is a teapot with stem lines coming out of it, and at the pot's base, a teacup and saucer and a separate plate of biscuits. RIGHT: Bob's Burgers "The Re-Recipe Box," a set of recipe cards inspired by the joke hamburger names featured on the small board at the front of Bob's joint. Red sides with small graphics, cover image of the restaurant.

Greetings, new friends! You may know me as an author, a prolific Bluesky poster and 4th place finisher on So You Call That Dancing? But you might not know that my partner Judith (@mzpress) and I have an online arts bookstore that's growing every day. Full inventory here: mzs.press/EVERYTHING-W...

The sunglasses

No, one was a Pulitzer

At AWP today, I tried to pay for two books of poetry with my Dave & Buster’s card

I’m writing a sapphic air hockey romance

Oh, I see Bluesky has the jokes in the replies here. Carry on.

I met an elevator tonight

Someone should make a different movie where a playwright abandons their family after a family tragedy & then their grief-stricken spouse attends the play and realizes it wasn’t worth it because the play is terrible

Hegseth saying “I only speak American” is so abjectly stupid that it isn’t even meme-able. We’re all way above that joke and he was serious. We are so fucked

a lifted gmc whatever the fuck truck adorned in a palestine vinyl wrap and flags and such. hello kitty. things of that nature

while visiting a friend i witnessed this truck. the back read "REDNECKS SUPPORT PALESTINE" and the israel flag has a big red cancel with "FUCK ZIONISM" under it. incredible.