Alex Blechman

The Jerry Seinfeld bee is Silksong’s final boss

Silksong ending where you dig up to the surface, find yourself on a giant picnic blanket, and learn the entire bug kingdom is underneath Central Park

Immediately after posting this I used silk powers to defeat a boss, and now I’m going to use them all the time

I’m approaching Silksong combat mechanics like a 5-year-old trying new foods. “No I won’t eat pizza, pizza is yucky”

I probably will use thread storm next time they do the classic trick “lock you in a room with 3 dudes”

I remember when HK1 had a charm that regenerated infinite mana and then after you get far enough in the game they remove it lol

When I complain about Silksong’s difficulty I’m not complaining. I know what I signed up for here. Look, I played Godmaster. I delivered the damn flower. This is not a surprise

I’m convinced these powers are mainly intended for speed runners to shave off 10% of their playtime if they never get hit

I on the other hand will not be throwing my healing potions as projectile weapons

In Silksong your magic attacks use up the same mana as healing

So functionally they don’t exist for me. I’m always going to need healing. Silksong keeps granting new powers like “Laser Silk” and I toss it on the pile of cool unused abilities. Thanks but you have me mistaken for a skilled player

Asking “is the postal service profitable?” is a new thing

If you visit a 1950s post office it looks like a Greek temple. They have statues of eagles. There’s a big mural of a flying woman holding a cornucopia. They didn’t whine “is the bronze bas-relief of Prosperity profitable?”

Bluey episode where the dog family visits a museum filled with 1,000,000 year old extinct human skeletons

Unfortunately Doritos Wet are moistened with tap water from a city where the tap water has a metallic taste. Fans love that it falls apart in your hands and is flavored like a spoon

They’re a liminal space turned into a home

That could work. I also think original twitter should have made their own built-in patreon back in 2010

But it’s important not to be biased in favor of those specific places that give them money. If they get paid by Dogfood dot com I don’t want the bsky feed only packed with Dogfood influencers

It wouldn’t be that bad. Every 20th post would be

“Try new Doritos Wet. The great taste of Doritos but this time it’s damp”

I’m still hazy on the alternative. “We’re now offering Bluemax Premium. It’s a subscription service that’s everything you love about Bluesky but now it’s $7.99”

My unpopular opinion is that Bluesky’s most likely path to profitability is occasionally shoving an ad for Doritos in the newsfeed

They don’t want to do that. People don’t want them to do that. But shoving an ad for Doritos in the newsfeed is a proven method of turning social media into money

NPC: To craft a Computer you need 8 Deer Antlers. There are Deer in the forest you can fight. I heard a rumor Deer are weak against Flamethrower

Me: I hate the diagonal dive attack in Silksong. It's so hard to pull off

Silksong: Okay, this item changes your moveset to be exactly like Hollow Knight 1

Me: How am I supposed to play without a diagonal dive attack?!

My Duolingo lessons are teaching how to say “We are still trapped in the dream.” I’m learning useful phrases like “We only dreamt we woke up” and “The Dream Master won’t let us leave”

I see we’re doing the “Do turtles have a house inside their shells?” discourse again

Yes, of course they have a cozy little cottage with a couch and chairs. Obviously they have a hat stand. Where else would they put their fedora?

Are paintings art? They’re just rectangles of arranged pigments capturing thoughts, emotions, beauty, and truth. I mean, they’re fun to look at but “art” I dunnow

(addressing crowd of the world’s finest military minds)

Now watch this carefully and remember how to do it

*plays youtube clip where Uma Thurman uses The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique*

Hegseth: (entering Pentagon) Yo check out what I found in the parking lot. Free USB stick!

Estoc, Falchion, *clears throat*, Flamberge

Going on stage before the joint chiefs of staff and reading the entire wikipedia page for “Types of swords”

History Student: (500 years from now) I don’t understand why their society collapsed. They had just invented 3D Doritos, everything was going fine

Professor: Some think the fall was caused by 3D Doritos

*inside a seedy yakuza bar*

CIA Agent: I traveled here to find MacDonald. Old MacDonald. The world needs a man who knows all the sounds animals make. You have a farm?

MacDonald: (chugs whisky) Had

The good news is that we have high-tech alien medbeds that can cure all illness and injury

The bad news is that they assume the user is a hyper-intelligent car-sized mollusk and they’ll rearrange your body to live in the atmospheric ocean of a distant gas giant

Look, the lesson plan clearly thinks it’s more important I know how to say “Toronto is a lively city” than “Nine.” It must have its reasons

Obviously I could just google 8 but I trust the lesson plan. If the lessons don’t believe I am ready for the number 8 I will not second guess them and skip ahead. I will remain humble and master numbers 1 through 7 until the secret of 8 is bestowed upon me