Zoë Lorenz

a man in a hat and jacket says i am never going to financially recover from this ALT: a man in a hat and jacket says i am never going to financially recover from this

i’m almost out of olive oil

since returning to the office three days a week, i have truly come to appreciate how much buying a fun little drink can turn your day around

do you think, as cybernetic augmentations become more mainstream, sports will delineate into “tech” and “meat” leagues?

now that british transphobes are essentially a protected category, the only consequences they can face are social and informal. it's your civic duty to be a complete piece of shit to them until they delete their accounts.

this is just like when i discovered that yoga and exercise really DO help my mental health 😩

bad news everyone: this pomodoro shit actually works 😒

i wanna talk about the books i've read but i don't want y'all to be able to draw the straight lines between the books i love and the wips i write

"if it’s too cold for you to stay outside, it’s too cold for your pet to stay outside" can you tell my dog that, environment canada?? he seems to think -32°C is perfect frolicking weather

to the lady blasting adele so loudly i could hear it from the bus stop at main and mcdermot: i hope your day gets better

dear canada post,

please give your workers fair wages and whatever else they're asking for. they deliver mail all winter in manitoba so they deserve it.

also i need to order a gift from a company that only uses canada post.

pls. it's not too late for you to save christmas.

love,
zoe

new adulting achievement unlocked: cried over bills at midnight when i was supposed to be sleeping

if i write a whole ass fantasy book and some booktoker posts about how they skipped all of the non-dialogue parts i would be so mad. the non-dialogue is where the story happens!!

it should be illegal for an ingredients list to just say “spices” like i’m not trying to steal your secret recipe, doritos, i just want to know if my dog can have a chippy

things i want to do:
- write
- read
- train my dog to do fun tricks

things i am doing:
- going to work
- surviving

A corgi on his back looking up at the camera from a raised dog bed with his paws resting on his belly.

hello everyone! this is oliver. he’s my main distraction from reading and writing these days, but i love him anyways.