Saying that we can still be friends is like saying that your dog is dead but you can still keep it

Friendly reminder that Trump’s wife is an immigrant which further proves that immigrants will do the jobs that Americans won’t

Whenever someone in my life comes out as a transman, my immediate response is “BROTHER, give me a hug!”

Tradition is just peer pressure from the dead

Making fun of single men for using dating apps is like making fun of unemployed people for attending job fairs

I want to congratulate Phil Robertson on his first day of sobriety

This isn’t rocket surgery!!!

This economy’s got me looking at my cat and begging her to use Pay Day

Something I will never do again is join a group cosplay with a perfectionist

If video games cause violence, what video games were people playing during the middle ages?

What is Elon Musk’s favorite band?

A Flock of Seig Heils

Man, if only someone knew a good joke about Earth rotating. It would really make my day

I guess I should have brought a house in 1998 instead of going to Kindergarten like all the other 6 year olds…the fuck was I thinking?

I would have an easier time giving a shit about Biden pardoning his son if we hadn’t just elected a rapist with 34 felony counts

For a guy who had nothing to do with and knew nothing about Project 2025, Trump is sure picking a lot of Project 2025-associated people for his cabinet and staff

Always 💖

Don't make me tap the sign

I’m going to see you next Friday and Sunday!!!