RIP Chris McCandless, you would have loved Portugal. The Man
Every time I travel I think, what if I just lived my life with only 3 outfits?
Today a random sea turtle swam by right next to me it was magical
Privateers be like: the only way to stop a bad swashbuckling guy with a cannon is to have a good swashbuckling guy with a cannon
Now that my mom takes weed gummies I'm teaching her about the concept of a Cousin Walk before Thanksgiving dinner
Talk about a gaddam perfect album
Playing hide n seek with Jesus would suck because I guess he's omnipotent? Not really fair dude
I love Halloween because when else do I get to see Harry Potter smoking a blunt on the subway?
Chili isn't chili unless it comes from the chili region of PA, otherwise it's just sparkling soup
Babycakes just let people merge
Living rent free in your head (but in like the Parasite type of way)
4 shots of espresso and no food is the breakfast of neurotic champions
Never met a pimple I didn't wanna pop
Dakota Johnson has the worst line reads I've ever seen I want to watch every movie she does
For the life of me, I cannot figure out why people say Hereditary is "sooo scary".
Ugh coworker hit me with the "you look tired"
I don't think I would survive long in the Silo because I haven't seen any characters with iced coffee
When is Disney making the live action Steamboat Willie?
There are a MULTITUDE of fireflies in my backyard I'm in heaven
Culturally a Mets fan on my dad's side (non-practicing)
My mom has discovered this emoji: 🥴 and has been using it to great effect
Maybe men are too emotional to lead
babe are you ok you've barely touched your unread books
Lyft driver had a hundred dashboard warning lights and kept making wrong turns. Then Backstreet Boys "As Long As You Love Me" came on and, without warning, he cranked up the volume super loud. 5 stars
Can hardly believe it but I just saw a SECOND baddie wearing a DIFFERENT Christopher Moltisanti graphic tee
Honestly same
Wildlife Explore > Zoobooks
At the event where I could win $100 and pretty upset a lot of other people showed up to try and win $100
the body and blood of christ
To the woman I passed today walking a tiny dog, wearing charlie xcx style shades and this incredible shirt - I'm obsessed with you
