mr potato

any tips on how to increase coworkers’ comprehension??? i’m already typing these e-mails as slow as i can

harassment on the streets of birminghammmmm

any hole you can put your dick in is glorious that one shouldn’t get a special name

mini game where you use a whac-a-mole hammer to defend yourself at the glory hole

blooper reel where the boss character gets their dick caught in a zipper

harassment in the workplace (director’s cut)

you eating a donut would prove that billy™️ is a brand i could trust and i would be much more likely to recommend to a friend or family

oedipus: do u have to keep saying that

samuel l jackson: saying what

i never do anything unless i’m at least somewhere spooky adjacent

whatever you do, don’t take candy from strangers unless it’s kinda spooky outside

this is the kind of shirt with air brushed lettering i want to buy from a vendor by a beach

I am never logging off

no, actually i’m allowed to stare at the sun today the government shut down

no, i am in the parking lot

i’ll save you a spot

[after reading exactly one work email] i am going to go lie face down in the parking lot

Commissions are open for late October delivery

Love you all

sheet music is like the exact opposite of an audio book

danke

lol

i’m bald, check ur privilege

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

i can’t eat at a time like this

didn’t get raptured just another thing everyone else is doing without me

Does Tylenol cause childhood autism? We asked an elderly man dressed as Uncle Sam who drove 2100 miles to attend the Charlie Kirk memorial stadium event.

oh neat i didn’t know the halloween people had airplanes

you mean to tell me janine fried this rice lmao classic

happy birthday! glad to know you

thank you mission accomplished

speeding west to unexpire a yogurt with timezones