Sharky 🦈

Raleigh

I used to joke that one day we would reach a point where Being The Good Guy At All is considered Woke but I stopped making that joke when it became clear that the writing was all over the walls.

An incoming text stating: I saw there was a shooting and fire in Grand Blanc. Checking in on you and your cousin. My reply: I think you texted the wrong number. Response text: I m Amelia Watson, if I may ask, and sorry for doing so, are you Jennifer?

Is there anything more American than a "wrong number" scammer opening with a text inquiring about the safety of family after a shooting?

Cut to Varad on Twitter positively drenched in sweat.

When I hold the summit, you're on the short list.

This is why I don't eat Chipotle

I am attacked.

How is this game only in the 4th inning?

leave no pardner unhowdy'd

Inflatable shark costume worn at a No Kings rally.

This is why I wore the shark costume to the last protest I attended.

See also: cows kill more people than sharks

Where's a mod when you need one?

Yeah, it was a wild touchdown.

It's the Butker Curse

Exactly how they drew it up 😂

Good grief. 😂

NEW SHARK SPECIES JUST DROPPED

My first day as a group therapist:

I encourage Stephen Miller to spend as much time as possible in front of a camera.

I don't think this Sinners sequel is going to do well.

They Cawthorned him.

Similarly, I've been texting with Winona Ryder and, y'all, we are only 4 or 5 payments away on her phone card until she can finally come home.

Truly a horrible time to be literate

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Pee Wee Herman trying to use a payphone while a bunch of bikers get rowdy in the bar. A negative consequence follows!

Trying to use the shitposting app during modgate like

The Portland frog backing down an army of jackboots

When your custom character appears in a cut scene

Jesus was famous for not wanting to upset the hierarchy.

He says here that the Navy "dumped his wretched corpse" into the sea.
The Navy statement at the time was that ObL "received a Muslim ceremony as he was buried at sea," following "traditional Muslim...customs."
The U.S. wanted to deny followers a shrine, and it was simply the honorable thing to do.