Jared Petty

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The Day The Earth Stood Still slaps.

Yes, hello, is that God? Yeah, hi. I have a complaint. You gave me this brain that’s designed for finding berries and avoiding lions and now people are ‘just circling back’ to see if we can ‘move the needle’ on ‘key initiatives’? NONE of those things are berries.

Thanks Gabe.

When is the next round of pitches?

It was good. Also entirely forgettable.

I literally forgot Veilgaurd ever existed until I saw it on my timeline a sec ago. Man, I miss pre-Anthem Bioware.

🚨BREAKING NEWS!!!🚨

I don't know shit.

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It's the Year of Our Lord two thousand and twenty-six and all I want is to watch Sealab without commercials. Can I do that? No.

Please understand the stakes. If you do not end them, then they are going to end you. That's where things are now.

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The world has gone to hell in a hand basket, but for two hours I'm watching Much Ado About Nothing and celebrating Shakespeare, being in love, and all good things.

A whole lot more people are gonna die because America adamantly refuses to get its shit together.

Every person propping up the Trump administration is your mortal enemy.

TF when you're appointed Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas.

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How bad do you have to be at your job to get fired by Donald Trump?

It seems we are about to fall for one of the Classic Blunders.

Back in Canada, where I belong. 🇨🇦

Chinatown Wars is the best GTA.

About the only thing on earth I'm sure of at this point is that I love my wife.

Look at these dorks.

The United States has done a lot of dumb things in my lifetime. This one pretty much takes the cake.

We are now so inured of evil that we can no longer sense its magnitude.

What happened yesterday changed the world along vectors of unpredictability I can't fathom.

Today a newer fascist theocracy bombed an older fascist theocracy.

There is only one valid Pokemon. I don't make the rules. Look at his little bow tie.

Because I get sad when I come to North Carolina thanks to three separate periods of my life where I lived there, each marked by trauma. We should go to Miami instead

I'd forgotten how much I hate the Salesforce Tower.

I dunno! I'm in Canada almost all the time so that's difficult.

When am I NOT fighting Greg Miller?

Alas, I'm not on the schedule, though I will be catching up with KF off-camera for fun.

I wanna get on one of those spaceships the mice were flooding into in Chu Chu Rocket and just never. Ome back.

Aw shucks. Well I'm visiting a few folks right now in the Bay and working for Other Ocean Interactive. I live in PEI, Canada and am working on immigration. My dad died a couple of months ago and I'm just now starting to get my feet under me again.

I'm in a Lyft in San Francisco for a few minutes and I'm feeling narcissistic. Ask me anything.