MaiMai

I finally defended myself and now things are even worse than they were before. Classic.

I think I've genuinely hit my limit with the people in my life. I've tried communicating my boundaries, needs and request for basic respect in so many ways. I'm tired.

Damn, I don't envy you for that.

But yeah, best thing I can do is look back at message logs, qrite stuff down (amd dont lose/forget about it) and hope people understand

Its all good. Its not like I have 0 irl support its just hit or miss.

Its okay im a health Bish tier now lol

I'd be insanely overpowered if I had actual IRL support, real sleep, OR no mental illness.

That is def a terrifying thought. We have 3 or 4 people that have had it on our recent family tree. So I can empathize. I hope you avoid that fate (you already deal with enough twin)

Pat pat. I hope it slows down or gets better Zae

I fear that one day I'll forget important things about my friends and loved ones. I already forgot major moments from some of my fav stories and videos games I poured countless hours into. It's getting worse and the Dr's keep telling me I'm fine, just get more sleep.

Lil kid me would be so happy to know what I'm doing with my life now. I'm glad I lived through it all to make it here. I do all the things I was told I couldn't. I'm appreciated, loved and have good people in my life.

I'm done protecting people who make me feel like I shouldn't exist. Or people who no matter what I do or don't do find fault in everything.

Domain of Marriage and Childbirth

#digimon

Hey so wtf?!
I got lots of praise today, made comm progress, drew my fav character, did writing, spent most of my day with offspring, had pizza & wings, watched a movie with friends and avoided stress all day.... and im still just so sad. Maybe I just need to fix my sleep.

very yucky, confusing and sad. I can't imagine being someone who doesn't have a support network or the tools to unpack and deal with trauma in general. Cause good fucking chaos the human brain is built stupid.

Anyway, I'm fine just pointing out a strange/kinda fucked up realization with my preferences. It's fucked up cause even though I hated/hate what I went through there are some characters in media that remind me of one of my abusers and those characters I have a natural draw towards. It's all just

Spawned from those traumatic experiences. For years, I felt no form of desire for sex but lately, after dealing with all of that, I've become incredibly hyper sexual and it's been incredibly hard to adjust to.
This is part of the growing pains when it comes to unpacking shit though unfortunately.

TW: Sexual Assault/Abuse

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Just realized while making a joke about being into older women that because of the SA I went through when I was younger (all by older women than me. Some teens, some adults at the time.) That in some twisted way my preference may have–

Taiga's Skircle containing floofs that have interacted with her the most recently The inner circle is Lucky, Trooz, Vidya, Nimadj, Sandy, Rain, Noriko, and Zae

Haven't done a Skircle in 5 months, tis time for an update! Thanks to all of my floofs for chillin with me, and welcome aboard to ze new floofs as well- hope y'all have a fantastic upcoming week, especially with certain games coming out~

Don't post to the wrong account fuckwad.

A sticky note that would have been nice to see like 20mins ago.

Def A LOT to work on in the coming months. I feel like more to work on now than I had a year ago at this point, and that's kinda a feelsbadman moment.

Not super often so catching it might be hard. Seems like a random autopilot thing when im particularly sick or beat down.

Also, as a side note, I can tell when I'm pulling back. I seem to have been regulating myself a lot when I start getting to be a little too energetic or insufferable.

I've been listening more carefully to my VODs so I can fix some weaknesses on my streams, and holy shit I say a lot of negative stuff about myself ??? It never really registered that I did. Even if it's just a joke, I can imagine that gets exhausting as a viewer/lurker.

The problem is that it's

I seriously need to get an office so I can get the fuck out of the main living space.

:3

I'd probably go for it too and risk all my current relationships.

Problem is id DEF also miss my current build so idk. Wish I could run both

Like 4 people know and im glad to keep it that way :3

Not me doxxing my account every other time I reply lmao

But yeah that's an estrogen bomb frfr

If I were to be given the opportunity to look like Ami irl but have to give up everyone around me irl idk if I'd make the right choice lmaoo

Had the wildest dream where my Wife & I were doing some Yuri crazy style. Def gonna keep that one as an inside thought.

a girl with blue eyes is petting another girl 's head while another girl looks down ALT: a girl with blue eyes is petting another girl 's head while another girl looks down

I hope that your happy memories of them are comforting and frequent someday. And you're right, I wouldn't ever want to forget.