MaiMai

Lowk might be kinda evil but protecting my peace is priority number somewhere at the top rn.

I haven't cried like that from pure rage/frustrating in a VERY long time. Today was not my day. Tomorrow better?

My wife did one of those "kid interview" things with our offspring, it was funny listening to the answers. But then she posted it online and put everything down he said exactly how he said it except the response to the question "what does your daddy do all day?"
Wtf, why?

at restaurant. Doesn't that seem a little intentional? Idk, I need a mental reset before stream later. Cause right now, I'm feeling very aggravated and unheard.

decency. The cherry on the cake is the "well you can come to Olive Garden with us and do it when we get back." Like yeah no shit, lemme just stretch myself even worse for time, NOT TO MENTION I've said many times how Olive Garden makes me violently ill every time I eat there. That is your most ate

perpetually exist online if all I'm good for is keeping up on shit, doing errands and making money. Why even say you want me around? The fact that my own mother feeds into it isn't even surprising. I hate how they all make me feel. I'm so fucking tired of asking for basic communication and human

places and catch an attitude when we get asked if we could stop somewhere quick on the way home so I don't have to also make dinner for myself since I have so much of my own shit to do before stream. Classssiiiiiiiiiiiic moment.

Dood, I really don't know why I bother talking anymore. Just let me

Ah yes let's leave the brain broken and body broken person home alone to do all the trash (several bags, boxes & furniture from cleaning out the basement), plus take care of all the animals, plus take care of the households dishes from the day, plus plus while we go to fucking Olive Garden of all

I was able to make a sketch today but between the last two days my ability to draw has been severely hampered by my brain. I just can't seem to get my hand to do it right. Shits so demoralizing I don't even wanna do anything lol. What did I do before drawing when I was getting molly whopped?

Lowk been having a hard time drawing lately. Migraines are rocking my shit so bad that I can't get my hand to do the things I need it to do right... My gut has been saying for awhile now this might be more than just migraines but the Dr's won't listen. Maybe it's time to get that cyst checked again.

Sunday's are my weekly reminder that I am in fact only one person lmaooo

that to continously not happen in any form. And its so much fun that every time I point it out I gotta get treated like shit for 1-4days on top of it.

I love being told by people that something will take 2hrs only for them to take 4hrs and counting with no communication multiple times a week. I especially love it when I point out that I plan around the times given and it would be nice to have communication or more accurate times given only for

As of tonight it's the end of an era.

to day with that knowledge pretty well. But that piece of me that is just so overwhelmingly not what I want to be or feel like is still so intertwined with everything I do. It sucks cause I know the people around me feel the effects of that shit too.

Gotta be one of the most poisoned, hypocritical and contradictory minds out there for genuinely no gain or meaningful reason. I can look at everything objectively and see it for what it is too, in the sense that I know factually I shouldn't have the thoughts and feelings I do. I can even operate day

luffy from one piece is wearing a straw hat ALT: luffy from one piece is wearing a straw hat

I don't think it's fair that the more I accomplish, the more I learn, the better I get at things, the more I reach out to people and the more I try the less I think of myself but if I take the foot off the gas then I just spiral into an insane depression and things get worse anyway. Wtf is this bs?

We just spiraling out here. Full free fall headahh

Man idk what I'm even doing anymore.

They are okay!
And yeah it's def not something you get a lot of exposure to practice against vs many other things.

They are okay :3

I think its time to go back to therapy. Two events recently caused insane depression and panic attacks when friends just blinked from the internet because of my past experiences with suicide. I thought I handled it years ago but it seems to have stuck with me more than I thought.

Tldr: idk i spent a long time thinking abou all this and I am in fact very happy with how I am and I'm fortunate that I was born into skin & sexuality that I'm comfortable with and makes life easy.

Between masculinity and femininity in both a traditional and modern sense so I don't really care about either of those things. I think my desires more come from the fact that magic like in LxD just doesn't exist lmao.

born looking like that I'd be happy too but I think I'd probably spend my time online as a dude because the concept is to be something different in spaces that aren't irl.
So if born a girl id be a dude online^. I do think there are things about how I operate and my personality that swing wildly

def play dress up with different forms often but I'd spend the most amount of time with how I look now. Which you'd think is odd cause I vastly prefer to be repped online with a cute anime demihuman looking form. However I consider my online presence as like an alternate reality form. Ig if I were

limit. I coulda made separate posts about identity and sexuality but I'm lazy and kinda bounced back and forth between these discovery paths. I will say that the only asterisk is that if I had the ability to revert back to my current irl form after changing into whatever other form instantly I would

as a general rule. I think my past history of sexual abuse kinda cooked full on humans for me but with enough difference I'm into it. Full on furry, scaly and beasts/monster humans don't work at all but something like a demon girl with red skin, horns, fangs, tail and possibly wings is my upperish

After some very long and deliberate soul searching I can definitively confirm that I am not Trans nor am I gay (second one has been extensively case studied). However I found out that I do have a sex drive (which I was kinda learning anyway) but it turns out it's linked to fantasy/non realistic form

Saved myself from the most insane doompost by hitting the "We just cry those out fam" button.
I'm good now for another 3-13 business weeks.