This is like saying the movie “Aliens” doesn’t work unless you believe in Aliens.
Massive Vinegar Syndrome haul!
Seinfeld single episode characters Mount Rushmore:
Soup Nazi
Jimmy
Detective Bookman
The Doorman
Perfect for home media servers.
Time to Die (1966): minimalist Mexican western directed by Arturo Ripstein. The film is well acted, & the dialogue is excellent. Unfortunately, its plodding pace kills it. It’s all talking, no sense of urgency, & doesn’t do anything until the last 15 mins. It’s not bad, just boring. Verdict: average
So much of Austin Powers comes from this single film! It’s always been a favorite of mine.
Superman (2025): superhero film not up its own ass. Captures the optimism & humanity of Superman better than previous films. Excellent cast who deliver in all roles. Overly convoluted plot, & too much CGI building smashing. Funny, light, & confidently directed. Krypto steals the show. Verdict: good
Police Story 3 runtime is 96 minutes. It’s fantastic! Not sure what crap version Amazon is using out there.
The Mt. Rushmore scene is good but only mildly thrilling, although I’m sure it was great at the time. Beautiful cinematography, and great cast performances. Hitchcock directs with aplomb. But it would have been a breathless, taut thrilling with 30 mins removed. Verdict: average
North by Northwest: a capable thriller that starts promising, but overstays its welcome with a bloated 136 min runtime. After the first act, the movie staggers at a languid pace, you feel like screaming at the film for something to happen. Yes, the iconic crop-duster scene was great, but that’s it…
This is one of Jackie’s most disappointing films. Mostly dull for nearly the entire runtime. Even the fights at the end don’t feel exciting. At least parts 1 and 3 are bangers.
North Shore: Karate Kid on surf boards. Has all the classic 80s sports movie tropes, it’s full of cliches. Cheesy fun. Shot in Hawaii, and the vistas are gorgeous. Has real surfing, and seems to take it seriously. Performances are OK for the era & genre. Has a surprising ending. Verdict: average
*Super Mario voice* Assassin’s Creed Odyssey!!!!
OMG, I just ate breakfast at a restaurant and sat two tables away from Neil Breen! I am star struck! 🤩
Goldfinchilocks, is that anything?
Oooo, block party!
Thinking about visiting LA. Is there anything interesting happening there?
I bought Tears of the Kingdom for Nintendo Switch 2, and it’s a goddamn walking simulator.
It’s not isolating unless you choose to be isolated. Your kid will make friends, and you’ll make friends with other parents. Your old friends may have kids too, and you’ll still hang out. You just have to make a stronger effort to plan things since spontaneously going out will stop.
Sydney Sweeney and Sabrina Carpenter are the same person, right?
Le Doulos: densely detailed, sharp, twisty tale of two criminals & their intersecting paths. Beautiful black and white photography. Excellent acting and direction. Pacing is on the slow side, & if it was shorter it would have been more impactful. Director Melville makes everyone cool. Verdict: good
I love buying bananas just to not eat them and then throw them away.
Elon Musk is such a colossal loser, if you wrote a fictional character half as lame as him, people would think it was unrealistic.
I don’t know what the question was, but this is always the right answer.
Longest Yard: more dramedy than comedy, it is well-written, has surprising depth (but only for the main character, everyone else is flat), & some decent laughs. First act is slow, but the pace picks up after that. It has all the usual sport film cliches, but it is comforting that way. Verdict: good
If crap is your jam, you will enjoy this one.
Cyborg: train wreck of a film. Nobody can act, & half the cast can barely enunciate. Cheap sets & crappy synth soundtrack. There is no point in the cyborg being a cyborg. Van Damme tries his best, but his high kicks and splits can’t help this abomination. Mid-film fight/chase was ok. Verdict: shitty
Clint Eastwood haul!
It’s got some SNL people but I don’t think it’s an official film.
