Ask Uncle Gary

We The People Hey Uncle Gary,Quick question that’s been weighing on me.   I work at a retail shop in Downtown LA, and yesterday I heard ICE might be in the area. I don’t own the store, and I’m not involved in hirin...

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So I went on this date... Hey Uncle Gary,So I went on this date. It was fun, he picked the spot, we had great convo, dinner was amazing. Afterward, we played pool at a bar around the corner, and he walked me back to my apartme...

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Secrets, Shame, and the Silent Weight We Carry by Gary DomasinAfter reading Michael Slepian’s work on the psychology of secrecy, I’m left thinking less about the secrets themselves and more about the quiet damage they inflict. His book, The Secret...

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Pole Fitness Dancer Dear Uncle Gary,I teach English at our community college, and once a month our department holds a meeting where we share updates, lesson ideas, student wins, and classroom challenges. It’s about 17 of...

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Thank you for the repost! How can I thank you?

#HereToHelp as well.

You're making me sweat here. Right back at you.

#HappyHumpDay

Perfect! 👍🏼

Thank you very much!

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I just turned 40 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up Dear Uncle Gary,I just turned 40 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Is that normal, or am I just lost?Signed, Peter PanDear Peter Pan,First off, welcome to the club. Membership inc...

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My husband told his family I was unfaithful Dear Uncle Gary,My husband told his family I was unfaithful, and now I feel exposed and ashamed. Can we rebuild trust after something like this, or do I need to accept that his loyalty to his family i...

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Milk Man Dear Uncle Gary,My dad keeps forwarding me articles about ‘the dangers of oat milk.’ Should I be worried, or just block him?Signed Milk ManDear Milk Man,Look, your dad’s oat milk crusade isn’t really ...

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He tried to kiss me. I pushed him away, and he laughed Dear Uncle Gary,Last night, after my friend’s rehearsal dinner. I’m one of her bridesmaids, and everyone had left the restaurant except me and her fiancé. We stayed behind to help tie up a few loose e...

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Is it weird that I enjoy eating dinner alone more than with friends? Dear Uncle Gary,Is it weird that I enjoy eating dinner alone more than with friends?Signed, RecluseDear Recluse,Not weird. Not even close. In fact, I’d argue it’s a sign of emotional maturity, and pos...

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One of Us Dear Uncle Gary, I’m a sophomore at my dream university in Rhode Island, and I just pledged my dad’s old fraternity. He’s white, my mom’s Black, and growing up, I heard all his stories of brotherhood,...

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I’ve developed a serious crush on my dentist Dear Uncle Gary,I’m 28, confident, successful, and, if I may say so, easy on the eyes. I’ve developed a serious crush on my dentist. He’s gorgeous. Movie-star smile, strong hands, the kind of presence...

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Curious but Cautious Dear Uncle Gary,I’ve been dating someone wonderful for about six months. We laugh a lot, the chemistry’s great, and I’m genuinely crazy about her. Lately, I’ve been wanting to go deeper, share more of...

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What do you do when someone fades out but never says goodbye? Dear Uncle Gary,My boyfriend Jake and I have been together for almost six months. We’re both in our early 20s, still living at home, me juggling community college and a part-time job, him working full-time as a mechanic. Lately, something’s shifted. He’s distant. I still drop by after school, but when he’s home, he barely looks up from his phone. We talk, but he never wants to hang out. I figured maybe he was over it, and I started preparing myself to move on.Then his mom called, asking why I ha

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My friend has developed an off-putting habit Dear Uncle Gary,I recently spent the day with a longtime friend I hadn’t seen in over a year. We attended university together, and he and his wife have just retired to Palm Springs, where I live. What...

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How do I stop Doomscrolling Dear Uncle Gary,How do I stop doomscrolling without feeling like I’m missing the end of the world?Signed, Worried ScrollerDear Worried Scroller,First, let me assure you, if the world ends, someone wil...

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My therapist fell asleep during our session Dear Uncle Gary,My therapist fell asleep during our session. Do I bring it up, or just take the hint?Signed, Mr. ExcitementDear Mr. Excitement,Your therapist fell asleep during your session? That’s no...

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Soulmates Dear Uncle Gary,I told my date I don’t believe in soulmates. She said, ‘That’s so sad.’ Is it?Signed, So SadDear So Sad,Not sad. Honest.Believing in soulmates is like believing your perfect pair of je...

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Good Christian Family Dear Uncle Gary, Our son is coming home from college, and he’s bringing someone he cares about, his boyfriend. We love our son deeply, but we’re struggling with how to handle this visit in a way that ...

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If nothing changes today, where will you be in ten years? Take a moment and a deep breath. Look at your life right now. If nothing changes today, where will you be in ten years? Be honest with yourself. The words that follow are meant to be a wake-up call. Y...

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42, single, and child-free by choice Dear Uncle GaryI’m 42, single, and child-free by choice, but my family keeps treating me like I’m unfinished. How do I shut that down without burning bridges?Signed, 42 and singleDear 42 and Single,Yo...

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Is it reckless to walk away? Dear Uncle Gary,I’m stuck in a job that pays well but drains my soul. Is it reckless to walk away without a backup plan?Signed, RecklessDear Reckless,You're absolutely right, it’s not just reckless, i...

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