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I took a Seinfeld personality test and I got Jerry, with an 85% similarity. This is upsetting to me as someone who is obviously Kramer. More worrying, though, is the fact that I'm at least 60% of everyone, which seems to suggest some kind of debilitating mental illness yet unknown to science

C.Jay Engel 4 9 @contramordor X.com Tonight at family dinner my 3 year old asked, "Dad, how can we help ICE? What can we do to make sure all non-Americans are sent back to their real homes? We just want our country back." It was powerful. The simple mind of a child can be profound. The deportations are for them. 5:05 PM • 1/12/26 • 50K Views @ 312 C97 13K 只32企

recreating lib cringe from first principles. this movement is finished

checking in on the president of the United States

Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Language: Japanese

A screen cap of a news headline says "Jair Bolsonaro had surgery for his hiccups. How to know when hiccups need medical intervention"

The answer is: whenever someone has hiccups, give Bolsonaro surgery

Nobody is gonna like this, but Biden’s administration was a Buchanan-level failure

they keep bringing up the guy that was here before you, who they had to kick out after he bailed on the Nightmare Before Christmas and Settlers of Catan sex party where the dress code was kigurumi onesies

hard to see another country living your dream

none of these people have even heard of the criterion channel. they all share the most expensive Disney Plus plan and they've never even opened the ESPN channel that came with it

we're taking one lucky bushwick poly person and we're dropping them in the middle of a weirdly straight polycule in des moines, iowa where everyone is really into board games and they have 14 children between them all

these coastal big city hipster polyamorous people wouldn't last a minute with the funko pop hot topic polyamorous people of middle america

When me and my younger sibling were young we'd chant "retard hands" while watching our dad suck at Legend of Zelda. Anyways I spend a lot of time nowadays volunteering, donating to various causes, and being interpersonally kind

Cicada shells stuck to a tree

Billboard with words "Where are you going? Heaven or hell"

Adult superstore billboard

Possum

Meth is DIY. Crafty. You work hard to harvest copper or catalytic converters and then you go on down to Price Chopper and you get those batteries and cough syrup and drain cleaner and you make shit happen

Imo's St. Louis Style Pizza

Car bumper held on with duct tape

House blown up in meth lab explosion

Children during school tornado drill

southwest missouri core

say what you want about meth, but that's the drug of working class america. coke is cosmopolitan. imported from overseas. covered in the blood of the innocent. meth? the boys down the street used to make that in their free time until they blew their house up. & they only blew up their own house

in this season of my life, i'm beginning to feel like the worst kind of inebriated people to be around while sober might be cokeheads. like, i might prefer being around someone on meth. they're just as delusional but the delusions are more interesting, and they love cleaning. they'll clean anything

He looks like a wise stuffed animal

Karim came up to me yesterday and said "Katie, tomorrow is my birthday" and I knew what I had to make him

all of them except the one that is planning to be completely sober so he can bowl better than anyone else

my coworkers are all so hyped about the work holiday party next week bc they want to get crazy and do cocaine. we are straight up going to a bowling alley

twitter hot is all about showcasing your boobs to the point where the male viewer is rendered unable to notice that you are on your couch in a hard-front, party city wig you claim is your real hair. here too, reality is being obscured, but we can still make out the shapes

instagram hot is all about manipulating your photos until walls start bending around your ass. it is about hiding reality to the point where even those who see it as non-reality cannot make out the truth.

ever since i was a little girl, i've hated cops

opened a private tab earlier to youtube search "berries and cream guy"

a lifetime of hardship and suffering has left me "funny for a woman"

radio stations have been claiming to play the hits of "the 80s, 90s, and today" for the past 20 years, suggesting we live in an ever-expanding present. i've begun to think time is dead, its bones ground to powder and swept away by the wind. anyways, this next one is dr. feelgood by motley crue

i love when these freaks fall down. i love when they suffer