notlikelybutpossible

Hux has years of experience spotting "more trouble than it's worth"

Poe describing Starkiller to the Resistance

Also Trudgen joining the KoR

It's when Hux starts talking about 'multiple data points' that he realises he may have fucked up...

"This feels... counterproductive," says Matron Phasma, but she signs off on it anyway.

Hux, suspicious but not in the way he really should be: Hmm. Very well, but see that you keep your hands to yourself.

Kylo, amused that the stern carpenter STILL hasn't realised what he is: Oh? Just my hands? Not my teeth, too?

If Hux really stands by his craftsmanship, he'll test it out with Kylo for a night 😤

The number of fights these two have had OVER WHO GETS TO GO IN THE TIME-OUT CHAIR...

Definitely gonna grave-rob a body, successfully attempt to bring it back to life, fail to treat the reanimated corpse as a person, whine about it when his 'science experiment' gets 'needy' and 'uppity', survive an entirely justified assassination attempt, and learn NO lessons from the whole debacle.

This is defo the thing he has most in common with Rey.

Kylo has been spending a LOT of money bribing Uber to keep Hux on the books. His abysmal rating and many, many complaints should have gotten him kicked off the app ages ago. Even Leia is like, "Yeesh, Ben, just hire the guy as your chauffeur already", but sadly Hux refuses to be a kept man.

Kylo is, in fact, Hux's only regular customer. Hux is an atrocious driver, but Kylo craves the exhilaration of near-death experiences. Plus, the red-headed driver is cute, has an adorably foul mouth, and has proved to be very discrete about the occasional mid-trip blowjob.

Hux regrets buying them that thesaurus...

"That sign won't stop us because we can't read"

Phasma, to Snoke: I can't believe it was THIS EASY, after all that hissing...

(Honestly the KoR all have big "that sign won't stop me because I can't read" energy)

Trudgen champions literacy for amphibians, his fervor undampened by the fact that he himself cannot read.

Oooooh wiggly house!

They are as good at pretending to be lost as they are at pretending to be straight.

Another 'insult' that Hux attempts to hurt at Kylo

Kylo's favourite time of year!

Those are gorgeous! So atmospheric!

The bed starts rocking as they get into a tentacle slap-fight and Rey has to lean down again and jab them with a hairbrush until they desist.

Rey leans down to glare at them like, "Shhhh, I'm trying to sleep!"

No Thoughts Head Empty 🥰🥰🥰

Good evening to Ben and Armie, who have SO MANY good tricks prepared, and are getting annoyed that everyone keeps choosing 'treat' and giving them candy.

"4-inch pride" is also what he calls his [redacted]

It's a playboy bunny costume but with a cute bunny mask that he REALLY hopes will hide his identity from anyone else at the party who happens to take one of his classes (spoilers: it does not)

Librarian Phasma will absolutely NOT break privacy laws and reveal the other person's identity, no matter what threats or bribery come her way. She will, however, quietly and carefully arrange opportunities for these two to 'accidentally' bump into each other.

DEEPLY UNSETTLING (positive)