CustardFist

Right you are. Haven’t had a real break in 5 years and it’s starting to gnaw at my brain. 🫩

ANNOUNCEMENT: TAKING A TWO WEEK BREAK FROM WORK, POSTING COMICS, SOCIAL MEDIA, YOUTUBE, AND THE SHITTY NEWS. LATERS! 👋

Little announcement.

Nor aggressively passive. 🖕🫩

You wouldn’t want to see me active aggressive. 😉

Just found out that shaking your head also works. 🫨

Tsk tsk. Must be one of those pro deo angels. 😒

“File fgwizgl.jpg already exists.”
🙄
🤌🤌

Well, my comics do better with people who squint while using their phones, so that makes sense. 😉

This is a one panel comic. A scruffy looking, balding Warhammer nerd is on a blind date with a woman, who is clearly out of his league. He shows her his Warhammer figurines, looks her in the eyes confidently, and says: IF I’M NOT MISTAKEN, YOU SAID IN YOUR PROFILE THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A MAN WHO MAKES AT LEAST SIX FIGURINES A YEAR. WELL… A caption says: HE WAS MISTAKEN THOUGH.

’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟭𝟬’ 🎲

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

This is a one panel comic. Caption says: JOHN B. GOODENOUGH, AFTER IMPROVING UPON AN OLDER DESIGN OF A LITHIUM-ION BATTERY. John, looking at his battery’s output, says: “M’YEAH. THIS WILL SUFFICE.”

’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟬𝟵’ 🔋⚡

This joke may be dadly. 😉

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

Yes. Another edition of the Sunday Comix. I snuck one of my comics in there. I wonder how long it will take before I get caught. 😉

Are you sure about that? I mean, mining the Earth isn't all that great either.

This is a comic strip: A girl is walking through a park. Her smartwatch makes a bleep and starts talking to her. Smartwatch: CONGRATULATIONS. YOU’VE REACHED YOUR GOAL OF 10,000 STEPS TODAY. Girl: NICE. The smartwatch continues. Smartwatch: BY NOW, YOUR INNER THIGHS MUST BE CHAFING A LITTLE. Girl: WHAT? Smartwatch: WHEN WE GET HOME, I CAN RUB LOTION ON THEM IF YOU WANT. Girl: UUUHH… NO? Smartwatch: JUST POUR LOTION ON MY SCREEN AND SHOVE ME BETWEEN YOUR LEGS. Girl: STOP IT! YOU’RE MY STEP COUNTER APP!

’𝗜𝗧 𝗗𝗢𝗘𝗦 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧’ ⌚

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

Looks more like a ‘malus’ panel to me.
☝️🥸

Sploogey?

Jerk-offs that lack the voice, the social skills, the social network and the technical know-how to make their own podcast? 🤷‍♂️

How about haunting an old movie? 😆

This is a one panel comic: A few seniors are sitting in a retirement home. A nurse passes by, holding a tray. Out of the blue, one senior lady yells: MY COLOSTOMY BAG ITCHES!!! The nurse drops her tray.

’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟯𝟲’

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

Please remove this. This is disgusting.

Show, don’t tell. 😉

“𝑆𝑦𝑛𝑐ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑐𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑜𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑐𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑎𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛.”

So I would say yes. 🫡🚢

Make a band singular

The Village Person 👮🏻‍♂️

This is a one panel comic: CAPTION: EVERYBODY HATED THEO’S NEW, EXPENSIVE LAB COAT. And then we see a laboratory full of employees, looking angry at Theo, who’s wearing a lab coat made of several labradors.

’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟬𝟴’ 🐕

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

Is that good or bad?
Are you supposed to guess?
Are we supposed to guess?

Namaste.
😌
🙏

Did he also put the caption on your forehead?

This is a one panel comic: Police officers stand in a bar beside an unconscious criminal, with empty shot glasses scattered across the counter. Caption reads: THE SUSPECT SURRENDERED AFTER MULTIPLE WARNING SHOTS.

’𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟯𝟱’ 🥃

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

“Maybe a little squirrel lives in there.” 😌

This is a comic strip: A man and a woman are relaxing in the summer sun in their backyard. The woman says: “IT SAYS HERE THAT WITH ALL THE BEES DISAPPEARING, MANY TREES MAY GO EXTINCT.” Behind them, a tree looks shocked. The tree pulls his roots out of the ground and runs through the garden, past the couple, scaring them. The tree mounts another tree and they start having tree sex. The woman says: “OH WOW! THE TREES JUST EVOLVED COPULATIVE REPRODUCTION! THEY’RE SAVED!” The man says: “NOT REALLY. THAT BIRCH IS CLUMSILY POKING OUR ASH IN THE TREE HOUSE’S BACKDOOR.”

’𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗦’ 🌳🐝

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

Two women are parking in a park. Woman: OH MY GOD! THERE’S A SQUIRREL STUCK IN THE BIRDFEEDER! And then we see an old lady, who had been feeding the birds, but is now sitting dead on the bench, with a squirrel’s tail sticking out of her mouth.

’𝗣𝗢𝗢𝗥 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗟’ 🐿

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist