CustardFist

If they were in (Proto) Australia, they would probably call it something like a dungledonker.

Weirding Hours: An Ominous Omnibus A Horror Anthology For Young Readers! This Collection Of Spooky Tales Will Have You Checking Under Your Bed At Night...

I recently wrote a spoooky story for the youth. It’s now part of this horror anthology by several artists and writers and it’s going to be printed! On paper! ✊😃✊

Want a copy? Help us make this thing! 🙏

Weirding Hours: An Ominous Omnibus on @kickstarter.com www.kickstarter.com/projects/wei...

Then he returns to HQ for debriefing and perhaps a little wipe. 😎

Cowabunga. 😗

A woman is looking out of the window and sees it’s a lovely sunny summer day. All of a sudden her heart starts pounding wildly and she starts shaking. Frantically she starts making sandwiches, squeezing oranges, etc., and puts them in a cooler. She hastily drags her boyfriend to the park, sits him down on a picnic blanket, and takes out all the food. Boyfriend: PRETTY SEVERE PICNIC ATTACK, BABE. Girlfriend, still shaking a little: IT’S FADING.

‘𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗡 𝗜𝗧 𝗛𝗜𝗧𝗦’ ☀️🥪

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

Pet Dog GIF ALT: Pet Dog GIF

Always cute when someone has to tell you they are the alpha. ☺️

Yeah! Throw the pie chart in his face!
✊🏻 ✊🏻
🤡

Men in medical outfits and semen extracting equipment are ringing the doorbell of some poor schmuck who is in debt. Caption: TO BE IN DEBT TO A SPERM BANK

‘𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟬𝟯’ 🏦

Having debt must suck.

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

Yes, those are cartoonishly drawn mosquitoes with breasts.

How about the ?mosquitonian? boobses I posted about a week ago? 😉

Cartoonish female snakes with eyelashes, lipstick and breast.

Drawing breasts on non-mammalian female animals that are otherwise sexually monomorphic. It always seems to anger (or confuse) some people.

And that’s when they went extinct. 😉

“Well, the next 𝘀𝗲𝘅ment was shot by a 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘄, 𝗴𝗶𝗿𝗹.”

Can we find the karaoke version on YouTube or Spotify? 🎤😉

My granmoomoo could’ve knitted huge sweaters with that. Sweaters so big, they could fit entire orgies. 😙

A small aeroplane is flying in the air. Flight instructor: AND WITH THIS LITTLE LEVER, WE CONTROL THE FLAPS. Near the rear of the plane there is a large vulva with two folds of the labia minora sticking out (the “flaps”).

‘𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟭𝟬𝟮’ ✈️

Last week I drew mosquitoes with breasts and it confused some of you. I’m curious to see how this one lands. 😎

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

And what about that little dove he beheaded?

Can they even shower with those “cool” arms? ⚡️

A guy is under the shower, leaning against the wall, his face strained with heavy contemplation. Guy: * SIGH *… WHEN YOU PEE ON AN ELECTRIC FENCE, DOES YOUR PEE STOP ABRUPTLY OR DOES THE MUSCLE SPASM SQUEEZE YOUR BLADDER EMPTY IN ONE MIGHTY BLOW? His girlfriend is standing next to him, washing her hair. Girl: BABE, SHOWERING TOGETHER JUST ISN’T FUN IF YOU KEEP HAVING THESE INTRUSIVE SHOWER THOUGHTS.

‘𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗧’ 🚿

Why do our brains do this? 😶

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

If the Italians see this, they’ll base a new shape of pasta on it.
😏 〰️➰➿
🤌🤌

A young man, wearing a T-shirt that says “I love cheese!” is sitting in his living room with an older, well dressed couple. They are holding a pamphlet about some watchtower. Then, something clicks in the young man’s mind. Caption: THIRTY MINUTES INTO THE CONVERSATION IT SUDDENLY DAWNED ON LEONARD, THAT THESE PEOPLE DIDN’T SHOW UP AT HIS HOUSE TO TALK ABOUT CHEESES.

‘𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗟𝗨𝗙𝗙 𝟯𝟯’ 🧀♜

The confusion is quite understandable. 😅

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist

Donate: chuffed.org/project/1132...

a man wearing a grey sweater is standing in front of a bush ALT: a man wearing a grey sweater is standing in front of a bush

Retreats in his turtleneck sweater.

Dang. 😕

A man calls home to tell his wife he won’t make it home in time for dinner. Then he asks her to tell the kids he loves them. Then we see the full picture. The man’s lower half is crushed by large earth moving equipment of the brand CAT.

‘𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘 - 𝙇𝘼𝙋 𝘾𝘼𝙏’

A little sadness to start your Sunday with.

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist-

Yay! Sunday Comix #9 is out! 🙌
Free to read!
Made by multiple artists.
And somehow, my comic got in there too! 🤩

Imagine all the things you could do on an extra piece of furniture in your bedroom. 🤤

Let him bee. 🎷😎

Title: The Three Mosquiteers Three mosquitoes are standing on a piece of human skin and they cross their proboscises in the air and shout out their motto: ALL FOR BLOOD, AND BLOOD FOR ALL! Caption says: A STORY ABOUT THREE ANNOYING CUNTS, WHO BUZZ AROUND MY HEAD, KEEP ME AWAKE, DRINK MY BLOOD AND LEAVE ITCHY BUMPS. FUCK ’EM. I HOPE THEY DIE.

‘𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑹𝑬𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑺𝑸𝑼𝑰𝑻𝑬𝑬𝑹𝑺’ 🦟🦟🦟🖕

Why won’t these bastards just leave me alone? 😤

#webcomic #webcomics #comic #comics #joke #jokes #comicstrip #comicstrips #funny #custardfist #mosquitos

100% relatable. I get a real kick out of pulling a couple of those wrinkly bastards out of my pantry, with several feet of root system poking out of them. 😙