Jason Merriman

Just put a funnel in the dishwasher because I used it to refill a sprayer with lemon Lysol cleaner. Got me thinking of Mitch Hedberg, "I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean."

Breaking down boxes after a week of deliveries and now Christmas present opening. Recycle bin is full. If only I had some sort of disposable container to put some of these cardboard pieces in.

Happy holidays, Merry Christmas/Kwanzaa/Hanukkah/Festivus etc.

I hid my kids presents so well that I couldn't find some of them. So when they read this in 2035 when we finally clean out some closets, enjoy your iPad covers for your 2025 iPads.

@meidastouch.com Trumps military parade registration site has a generic 'opt-in' checkbox that is in violation of the TCPA. There is no additional nformation about the types of messages to be sent, the volume of messages, or how to stop messages as required by the TPCA.

I'm having the same issue - DNS lookups against major DNS providers for any usps.com domain are failing.

Canceled my subscription last week when they and the change in editorial policy.

My kids also believe in the 'Toenail Fairy'....my 7 year old (at the time) smashed his big toe and the toenail eventually fell off. He placed it under his pillow and, welp, damn if the Toenail Fairy didn't come by and leave $5.

YouTube video by Simpsons Best Moments The Frogurt Man | Simpsons Best Moments

youtu.be/i73-lpVV-Jo?...

Update: nevermind.

I feel like quicksand and werewolves are a lot bigger in the 80's.

At its most basic essence, this administration is just mean and dumb.

That not who we should have running the country.

Dishwasher has been acting up, not finishing cycles. It's about 10 years old, and after checking a few out and resigning myself to spending $1,000 on a new one, it miraculously started working again. Feels like I magically have $1000 extra dollars. Anyone else ever get that feeling?

Day 3 of the standoff. Wife is upset I haven't brought the laundry upstairs, but every time I look at the laundry basket there's a cat in there. Not sure what I should do.

I believe everything in the original Star Wars could happen...Jedi, light speed, galaxies of commerce....that is except one thing...I highly doubt R2D2 would have the right USB cable to plug into the port to save everyone in the trash compactor.

Totally thought this was a call to your fellow tribe members to win the whole Christmas versus Hanukkah battle going on today....

Wrapping presents for the kids, I ate some of the candy they left out for Santa. I legit felt guilty for taking candy from Santa for a few seconds....

It's true. Some people are saying, "Sir, it's unfair, illegal and unconstitutional for accounts on Bluesky to not follow me. The corrupt leadership of Bluesky should be put in jail. I'm going back to Twitter."

In my youth I used to be excited when I got a new Walkman or a guitar. Now I'm super excited that I got a new O-Cedar mop bucket system to more efficiently clean up dog and cat pee. (...somebody kill me please.)

I love my kids and would do anything for them. They are beautiful, smart, and ingenious at times. But if a time traveller showed up at my door and said that the future of humanity requires 'taking care' of them, i'd think "That tracks..."

Part of my crew of ding dongs....

In the public space, you don't have to provide proof for your BS. Answer is to take them to court where they must prove what they're saying. I think this is a good case for libel. Only question is, how do you fight billionaires who have endless legal resources?

Agree to Disagree, by Lower Levels track by Lower Levels

A song I wrote a few years ago about stupid alternative facts people. I thought it would age poorly but it's suddenly relevant again.

lowerlevels.bandcamp.com/track/agree-...

I wonder if archaeologists got it wrong with their theories of Virgin sacrifice in the ancient American civilizations. I think that the ancient Americans just wanted to throw their annoying tweens into volcanoes.

The biggest fraud perpetrated on American people was the idea that Fancy Feast cat food is somehow gourmet just because a commercial showed a cat eating it in a crystal bowl.