🍎 Marzana Cherry | Mech Pilot ENVTuber | 🍒

Heyo, lads and lasses and everyone in between and beyond. Let's have a little chat. A good chat, in fact, I hope! It's no secret that for the past two weeks, I have been at one of my darkest points ever. Y'all have been there for me at every turn, helped me rediscover a competitive passion, helped me in ways I really don't deserve, and more. And unfortunately, there has been a part of me that has considered throwing in the towel. I've been stagnant, throwing what I felt was the "correct" stuff at the wall in a desperate bid to make something stick, and it hasnt worked, and with how bad things have been, part of me began to take it as a sign that it might be time to retire. However, frankly, fuck that. I said my dream was to make people smile, to inspire people and show that no matter how dark things get, you can make it happen, and I am not giving up on that. I'm sorry I continue to struggle with being a bitch, salty, overly competitive and more in games like Rivals, and I'm sorry y'all still have to put up with all that after years of working on myself. The fact that despite everything, I am still here to type this and y'all are still here to read it is a testament to hope, and I want to embrace that. I want to lean into the silly, the chaos, the dumbfuckery, and the hope as much as I want to be a legitimate and serious player in certain things and perhaps even a walking testament to the power of the indomitable human spirit. Going forward, I'm gonna stick to a loose schedule but let my mood dictate games and times more, so that I'm more in my natural element and more of me is on display. Thank you all for reading, thank you all for being here, thank you all for all you've done for me, and here's to a hopefully yet brighter future.

an important announcement from my server that will sadly not eventually become my public one (we're gonna make a separate one eventually)

its true the bun is super cool and sweet and hot and sexy their dms are awesome uwu

Did want to add to this since is something i notice a lot. I'm easy to approach, if you ask yourself "ughhh is the rabbit cool if I dm them" YES WAY TOO GOOD ABOUT IT UWU. I'm attention needy so can't say no to peaking someone's interest tehee

oh and a new keyboard

ive already budgeted for a new chair, a boom stand for my mic, a pc stand so i can change positions on my desk, a capture card and soundproofing

hey yall! i just wanted to update you really quick.

ive made the tough decision to hold off on my debut for a while.

i have a lot of things i could do w that money to improve my QoL and stream first, and id rather push on that

if we're lucky, we'll see a debut by the end of the year, but doubt

Yay yippee!!!
Birthday has come back around once more!
(Using Twitter screenshot for the funny balloons)

WAAAAAAA HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANAMIIIII

Tales of Symphonia - 9.5/10

this game came so close to redefining what 10/10 meant to me. it does almost everything exactly right.

sadly, the end starts to drag, and it falls into some really tired cliches as well.

that being said, what an absolutely fucking incredible game.

please play it.

no streams until im not staring straight into the abyss for at least a full week.

i cant do this shit rn.

full render of the haughty arrogant girl getting de-bwomped (permanent forever irreversible)

- i would probably go on indefinite hiatus from streaming, if not retire altogether, taking this as a sign that the universe will not let me have this.

as is though, it would change absolutely nothing.

ill keep you all updated.

update:

it continues to get worse.

we are currently in a situation where we cannot both afford groceries and pay bills without really scraping every avenue we can, and even then, no matter what, it will be a *barely*

if i had a job that actually gave me hours -

im gonna officially announce it here, but while my mental state recovers, im gonna take one more week off of streaming.

it feels like im fighting a depressive episode at this point, so id rather take my time

i basically onetricked rogue all night tonight

yeah im still very very confident that she is my girl

CN

Next in line for the heartless sale, @azurelionheart.bsky.social 's Kingdom hearts OC has had her heart stolen by the devious Parasol Beauties. Atleast she looks good amongst their ranks.

i need to flex a little bc while i didnt go crazy quite like this for the rest of the games after, these were like, my 4th and 5th games ever on the character i think?

and characters have clicked for me in the game this go around but not like this

gift for @benanimated.bsky.social of their gal Rin, technically an extremely late artfight revenge lmao

#art

i am so depressed that i could not get my reaction on stream bc

i had never really caught a voice line of hers until i took her into the practice range

and i hear "Best stay down now, sug~"

i sank so low in my seat and gasped in pure sapphic bliss

so tonight after saul ended stream, rivals went a weird direction for me

- learn Rogue is southern down home mom vibes
- swoon harder than i ever have for a girl before
- decide im trying her
- hard diff or go band for band w every other rogue i encounter

what

MORE NOVELETTE!!

Obedience
#Songlema #HonkaiImpact3rd

i will be completely honest and open

i am really not doing okay.

i laid in bed last night for hours before being able to sleep with my brain assaulting me w unpleasant and scary thoughts

our financial situation is rapidly dwindling and only going to get worse before it gets better

its bad.

i will be completely honest and open

i am really not doing okay.

i laid in bed last night for hours before being able to sleep with my brain assaulting me w unpleasant and scary thoughts

our financial situation is rapidly dwindling and only going to get worse before it gets better

its bad.

tales of symphonia is like

playing this shit as an adult is an entirely different experience bc oh my fucking god this game is so fucking good

hey, so

ive actually made the call.

im gonna take this week off.

due to a number of reasons, including increasingly concerning financial woes, i am mentally exhausted and just need some time to relax and enjoy stuff w friends and continue catching up on games

DMCV seems to be having a resurgence in popularity so uhhhh

i think im gonna stream that this week.

Outside of all the shapeshifting silliness, Alyssa is actually known for her costuming magic!

Heartless Aqua