— 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 𝑺𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑶𝑼𝑹 .ᐟ.ᐟ

* i know, right? it's like he's always just out of reach in the next room over.

* ( wow. y'know, i probably should've seen this coming. i mean. . . i have a secret identity myself. )

* ( crossbones peers at the tv. )

* . . . huh. hey, he's pretty good at that.

* ( sans trips over himself and has to start his dance over. )

* ( gee. . . that's pretty special. are you absolutely certain? )

* ( the tv flicks on to the news channel. a reporter is speaking. )
* ( the camera keeps trying to subtly pan away from sans, who is breakdancing in the background. )

* ( well, shucks. it's no easy task, but someone's gotta do it. )

* ( crossbones pauses between bites. )

* say. . . would you mind turning on the tv?
* i lost the remote. haven't been able to find it. you'll have to press the button.

* ( . . . crossbones peeks one eye open. )

* whoops, sorry. did you say something?

* ( eating at, like, a normal pace. )

* ( . . . )

* ( crossbones has dozed off over the course of that sentence. )

* ( grin. of course. )

* welp. let's dig in.

* hey. you're infringing on my brand.

* ( it sure is a good thing we're both fast asleep. )

* sure thing.

* here. you can even sit down.

* ( he pats the couch cushion beside him. it jingles. )

* ( oh my god. it's a real shame we're both asleep right now, or else you'd be in a real sticky situation here. )

* well, i try to be. it gets hard when you don't have a brain.

* ( he winks. )

] !??!?,!

* ( . . . EVIL SANS? )

* ( oh, well. )

* ( a hero can't be expected to win EVERY battle. just the ones against the villains. )

* not really. if it was all that bad, there'd be warnings against it.

* ( wasn't that already there. )

* huh. . . well, i guess we'll find out.

* ( . . . welp. i'm too lazy to change that. )

* ( i have one eye closed in my profile picture and you have neither therefore i win. )

* you've got a point there.

* i mean, he's all bones.

* ( how'd you see shit if you were sleeping. )

* ( plot twist he's been ASLEEP THE WHOLE TIME )

* you never know. he could be a villain in disguise.

* ( despite everything, he's still sleeping. )

* hard to say what a guy named "definitely not koffin-k" would really have to offer us.