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Performative leftist dude who happily goes to his work’s Melbourne Cup party but insists on calling it the Naarm Cup

Starting to think about my 30th and I don’t wanna do the whole death to my 20s bit, but I think doing a funeral roast a la smosh would be funny

Love getting a long weekend bc my boss is like “I won’t see you Monday right??? You’re taking it off, right????” So guess no work til Wednesday 😎

I’ve learnt more people come to meetings if you name them stupid things like “the thunderdome (aka ______project)” and this is probably my fave corporate lesson so far fuck your PM 101 course

When I’m a big rich man, I’ll fly up just for a soak days with you!!! (Also the naarm soak sucks and I miss west end soak so baaaaad)

Jealoussssssss

Work colleague to me: “how likely are you to get Star Wars references?” “Do you like Dungeons and Dragons?”
My brother in christ, “extremely” is the answer to both questions

Love looking around the table towards the end of a work social and it’s actually just all very leftist lesbians who are just getting on their soapboxes to a chorus of “mm exactlyyyy exactlyyyy”

Calling myself a genAI thoughtleader on my resume because I tell everyone at the office it's shit, unsecure and they're not allowed to use it.

Do it do it do it

Locked my son(cat) out of the office for an hour while I tried to rush some work and he’s very mad at me about it now
I have created a needy monster

Ooo maybe I’ll pick up an onion relish and hash browns and level it up a bit

Made an extra b&e bagel for later so just know I’m going to be spending the entire day out thinking about it

we’ve gone so far past “sex workers are the canaries in the coal mine” re: internet freedom, to an internet that’s run off and robbed from all the sex workers in order to replace them with planet-destroying simulations of sex workers

:o a criminal act

What about right house

I’m so stoked for you, except for the frozen part. When I first went short, it changed the game for me

when people come to my apartment for the first time and my bedroom has no door

I couldn’t decide which to post

Got served a tequila lime soda with no tequila and I’m taking that as a sign to go home(I’m fishing for a reason to go home and play Fortnite)

At the function and suddenly ‘mysterious tavern stranger’ mood has struck me

Happy belated lesbian day from ur local nb dyke xx

I really thought I was a winter/cold person but I am Not™️ (yet)

I feel like I’m a few days away from having my life(apartment) in order again after months of cave behaviour and I can’t wait to finally host people 😭

(All activities have to exist by alarm, bc I cannot tell the time of day anymore )

Daylight savings time, so you know what that means

Oh my fucking god we won the grand final

snoop dogg wearing sunglasses and a purple shirt with the letter m on it ALT: snoop dogg wearing sunglasses and a purple shirt with the letter m on it

dear Jesus I will learn and post a double full leg tie the moment I get more rope please please please please please

……do we think this can happen a third time