Adie Muller

Computer was running slow, so took it to tech support.
They start deleting applications to free up space, but also remove many essential ones, so now the computer is broken. 🇺🇸

Trump Signs Executive Order Making Official Language Of U.S. Remedial English WASHINGTON—In a move designed to promote unity and establish efficiency at the federal level, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Friday making the nation’s official language remedial Eng...

Trump Signs Executive Order Making Official Language Of U.S. Remedial English

Anybody home?

"A complex, multi-faceted worldview is a lot more challenging than a simplistic one."

How far into the past do you have to go until people stop complaining about "these days"

Living in Italy is a great way to buy affordable eggs, apparently. Salute 🇮🇹

"'...where the president claims authority to act outside the bounds of the law established by Congress,' he said. 'And if that comes to pass, we really will be in a different form of constitutional government ... And here, I do think risks about tyranny or dictatorship become quite real.'"

In other news, Bolero has entered the public domain

I feel like we're living in the alternate reality where the hero never showed up

“Is displacing native people really something we want associated with America?” Jacob Alter, Deep Fryer

Trump Proposes U.S. Takeover Of Gaza
theonion.com/trump-p...

Gym doesn't need to do us dirty by playing "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" on a Friday night

Bought a palm tree on my way home from psychiatry appointment #goals

Conservative Outraged Tampons Available In Men’s Grocery Stores SPRINGFIELD, IL—Describing the items on the shelf as yet other example of the “woke nonsense” abetting the feminization of American men, local conservative Nick Schwab, 54, told reporters Wednesday he was outraged by the availability of tampons and other period products in men’s grocery stores. “This is fucking unbelievable—what if I’d had my son with […]

Conservative Outraged Tampons Available In Men’s Grocery Stores
theonion.com/conserv...

Nothing like a fire alarm test the morning after two non-consecutive hours of sleep.

Astronomers Discover Planet Identical To Earth With Orbital Space Mirror

Astronomers Discover Planet Identical To Earth With Orbital Space Mirror
theonion.com/astronomers-...

Elon Musk’s Neighbors Fed Up With Eyesore Yard Covered In Broken-Down Cybertrucks

Elon Musk’s Neighbors Fed Up With Eyesore Yard Covered In Broken-Down Cybertrucks
theonion.com/elon-mu...

Bishop confronts Trump during sermon at inaugural prayer service At a sermon preached to President Trump at Washington National Cathedral, Bishop Mariann Budde asked him to "have mercy" on people who are "scared," including LGBTQ children.

At a sermon preached to President Trump at Washington National Cathedral, Bishop Mariann Budde asked him to "have mercy" on people who are "scared," including LGBTQ children.

Flights canceled for refugees who were slated to travel to US | CNN Politics Refugees who were slated to travel to the United States after a years-long and often cumbersome process have had their flights canceled, according to a State Department memo to resettlement partners o...

Refugees who were slated to travel to the US have had their flights canceled, according to a State Department memo obtained by CNN

Water cannot freeze. You’re thinking of ice

Trump Rolls Onto Capitol Steps In Bulletproof Sphere

Trump Rolls Onto Capitol Steps In Bulletproof Sphere

There is an untapped market for a timed coma service

i hope everyone left on tiktok is doing great/terrible impressions of americans now

Guys I have a really original idea for a new series, hear me out:
A school... but for magic 🤯
and it turns out the disadvantaged protagonist is The Chosen One.

When I think of the people I'm most thankful for, there's no reason to think they would have any idea how much I appreciate having known them. 🤷‍♀️

Maybe someone is thankful for you but never got the chance to say so.

Meta scrambles to delete its own AI accounts after backlash intensifies | CNN Business Meta deleted several of its own AI-generated accounts after human users began engaging with them and posting about the bots’ sloppy imagery and tendency to lie in chats with humans.

Meta deleted several of its own AI-generated accounts after human users began engaging with them and posting about the bots’ sloppy imagery and tendency to lie in chats with humans.

Here's how TikTok creators are preparing for a TikTok ban TikTok will be shut down in the U.S. this month unless it's sold to a non-Chinese company. Here's how creators are preparing.

TikTok will be shut down in the U.S. this month unless it's sold to a non-Chinese company. Here's how creators are preparing.

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