Crab Creatures

Sticky lost my rarest, most valuable toad, the elusive Rhodesian Blue Foot.

Naturally, he will be spending the next 13 months in The Circle of Torment. If you are interested in becoming my new Toad Keeper, please submit your toad portfolio below.

Hercules Beetle Grub/Larvae - free download

Credit to Najash on Sketchfab for the beautiful grub model base 🖤
sketchfab.com/3d-models/he...

Annabelle more than doubled her milk quota. In order to prevent wastage, each of my followers may take one large sip from the communal milk through. You cannot refuse the sip.

Visited g-paw at the old folks home. He says the staff aren’t feeding him. Maybe if he didn’t tell so many lies, he would be in this facility in the first place. Disgusting old coot.

I caught Hogly doing what the youths describe as the “Fent Lean”. I don’t know what that means but I hit him with a stick anyway. I am sick of these children and their new trends.

I must have whipped about 9 of these things to death with my belt just this morning. They weren’t bothering me but they are probably evil because I currently do not feel any remorse.

Today we celebrate Ashley’s Quinceanera. Celebrate immediately. Quickly.

Blasted creature sprayed me with the poison ink. Vile little squid. Rancid little sea slug. Naturally, I am very upset

Dillon has finally started to shed his mortal shell. As per tradition, his skin will be consumed by his younger siblings so that they, too, might grow strong and sprout ☺️.

Im doing alright! Still struggling bit but I should at least have some proper information and treatment before the end of the month ☺️

Paul is becoming more silly each day. Yesterday he pulled out of our driveway in his Ford Taurus and didn’t even realise he had reversed over my infant son.

🚨 Hog post. Hog post. 🚨

I am beyond excited to see the hog unfold ❤️

May god aid Boris in this mighty endeavour.

All jokes aside, thank you all for your support over the past few days. I can’t express how much it’s helped and I can’t thank you all enough. I hope I’m in a position to at least pay it forward soon ❤️

You have all been so very kind me. To thank you all, I will be releasing Boris for 12 hours. During this time, you may each pick a child for Boris to hunt and destroy ☺️.

Thank you so much for the kind words. Everyone's well wishes mean the world to me and make such a huge difference in my mood and outlook. Please dont worry about donating, it's a great help but i'll find a way through it regardless❤️

Thank you so much for the support and please don't worry about donating! Just the encouragement from everybody has made a huge difference in my outlook

I'm keeping positive and i'll be fine eventually! everyones support has left me feeling the best I've felt in a while ❤️

Thank you very much, my friend ❤️ i'll be alright, I just need to get through a slump.

You’re too kind my friend ❤️ I’ll be alright, I just need to get through a slump

I hate making serious posts but I’m in a bit of a pickle and it can’t hurt to ask.

Please know I won’t be making a habit of posting like this, and I’ll be back to my regular content soon!

Sharing this post is hugely appreciated.

ko-fi.com/crabcreatures

Maurice ate two dozen oysters at the seafood buffet and threw up on the carpet. We both refuse to clean it up. It is festering.

The vile wizard turned me into a slug. I’m not hating it. I can eat as much dirt as I want without getting a bad tummy, and I can stick to more surfaces. Yet to see a downside tbh.

Jennifer has been charged with arson and destruction of government property after she set fire to a police cruiser in the parking lot of her local Pizza Hut. She is utterly remorseless because she is, in fact, a clam.

I took Gina out berry picking with me today. The little rascal ate a handful of raspberries and about 6 squirrels.

No funny crouching man this week because sick. I substitute art for picture of my dog. Her name is Bilbo and she is stupid ugly stupid idiot stupid.

Which one of you disgusting cretins told Jessica about the ocean? Now it’s all she talks about. I refuse to give her more than one bottle of Dasani per day.

I found this bat on my property so I sprayed it with poison. Now I’m in trouble because she was “endangered” and “highly intelligent” and “capable of complex emotions and higher cognition”.