Manimal Hunter

italian horror fans'll be like "you don't know Argento Fusilli? Oh, you must see "The Yellow Knife." It's shot all in green, except the blood. There's a 45 minute shot of a nun crucifying a clown with huge needles. A masterpiece"

Big Balls got his ass beat? it’s truly awful that I didn’t get to see that happen in person

“Do we like Damien? We like Damien, don’t we? It’s all for him, we do it all for him. We just want him to look at us. We treat him well, sometimes he’s not very nice to us, but it is for him, it’s really all for Damien.”

this is the guy colleges and networks are kowtowing to btw, just quivering in fear at the thought of offending who’s doing Vincent The Chin Gigante but for real

did grampa seem funny to you this last trip?

2024: nonstop roller coaster ride with your best buds
2025: every day is a dentist appointment you forgot about

for the life of me I cannot figure this team out. shades of the absolutely rancid vibes of the 2021 team, in the playoff picture most of the year but somehow they made it clear This Ain’t Gonna Happen

that was feeling like such a We Are So Back moment and it quickly veered into a real It Has Never Been More Over kick in the dick

kids always behave well for other people when their parents are not around, the little gaslighters

“there were never any grays at Downton Abbey in the old days”
*charging up laser blaster* “Times have changed Mr. Bates”

not sure exactly how but he is definitely going to grab an active plutonium rod to “feel the juice in there”

this looks like a logo rebrand for a cult that used to do forced mass marriages

in retrospect we all passed through a door of no return when they made a commercial with undead Fred Astaire dancing with a vacuum and we let them get away with it

if I die violently and you try to resurrect a zombie AI version of me my ghost is gonna brick your computer so hard

i’m not gonna denounce a grieving family but everyone else involved with making this should do hard jailtime

This was a particularly ludicrous attempt by fiery "liberal" Rachel Maddow to paint the Korea Peace process of 2018 started by South Korean President Moon Jae-in (and later joined by Trump) as a sinister plot by enemy forces: "Peace as Armaggedon." A disgusting record.
thebaffler.com/latest/peace...

you have to be lucky all the time, Bluey only needs to be lucky once

Slaughterhouse Cow Frets Over Personal Contributions To Climate Change

Slaughterhouse Cow Frets Over Personal Contributions To Climate Change theonion.com/slaught...

it’s like you dedicate your life to becoming a pro athlete but you never make the bigs and you come to accept you weren’t quite at that elite level, then one day you turn on your TV to see there’s only 4 teams left in the league and they’re all the Colorado Rockies

it’s bad enough that both publishing and journalism have completely collapsed as industries, but it’s extra salt in the wound that so many of the people who are still allowed to publish their work via traditional mass media platforms are absolute dogshit writers

in the course of my baseball trip I think I coincidentally saw Jhoan Duran’s last save as a Twin, which was cool to see but also, sorry

One of the last good and genuine things about the internet to me was cool animal videos. Then I saw one that I liked but it ended up being AI. Now I scroll past all animal content because I don’t wanna waste brain power parsing each one. AI ruined animal vids for me so fuck it and ppl who use it

Facebook ad for Fidelity wealth management where two guys in suits are behind a woman in a suit, showing her into an office

Scene from Goodfellas where Joe Pesci, in a suit, is being shown into an office by two guys in suits behind him

Hm.

we need a Pete Alonso of the left

I hate this more than I have ever hated anything

Balk Rules 1. You can't just be up there and just doin' a balk like that. 1a. A balk is when you 1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the 1c. Let me start over 1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can't do that. 1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can't be over here and say to the runner, like, "I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!" and then just be like he didn't even do that. 1c-b (1). Like, if you're about to pitch and then don't pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense? 1c-b (2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it.

A balk is when you

does Pete Alonso have a late brunch to get to or something

whenever your vacation ends it’s always hard to readjust to the blunt harshness of real life so I kinda appreciate this Mets game rubbing my face in it